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No idea how am i feeling now =/
No idea how am i feeling towards this year, 2010.
It doesn't felt like it.
It felt like i'm still living that's all i can tell.
But i knew that i'm one pain in the ass ><
Sometimes, simple things i cant even get it right. That's such a shitty thing. Then later that have to go all out of control in front of others. What shit is that man? (Not you readers lol)


So much to say but i dunno where to start off from. Sometimes i just wanna get myself drunk and numb myself just for one day before i even get back into reality but drinking those liquor is not going to help much, doesn't it? Instead, taking fresh air and looking out to nature is way much more better than gulping down those liquor, right? By taking a walk during the night might help a lot, for that moment. lol




I don't even know who am i anymore. I felt.. Lost. Kinda. I think I've lost my feelings as well. It's daRn irritating when you have no idea how are you feeling sometimes. Sometimes you don't even know why are you living for. I know my purpose for life but.. sometimes as time goes by, i often asked, "Am i even going to survive to get into heaven?" I'm starting to doubt. Little by little, i'm slipping away from You. WHY?




I remember a pastor told me................

9:23 PM

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Hello world =)



I know I've abandon my blog for quite awhile.


Well, I'm not really an active blogger, to be honest ><
I only blog when there's something i wanna share to people. And blogging seems like the best solution to throw all my point of view out so that everyone can read it =)



Since I have the time now, i shall, for once, blog about what I've did during the passed few days or one month. So, i guess it's gonna be a long post? Hmmm.. =/




In an blink of an eye, 2009 is soon gonna be over. I was so not prepared for next year but.. ahh.. everyday does felt the same. So what difference will it make if tomorrow 's 2010? Except that we're becoming older. lol..




I have to say, this year's december is jam packed with all kinds of activities.
Well, not that my passed december weren't busy, just that THIS, among all the years that I've lived, is the most packed. I was not at home almost EVERY single day ever since semester break started (27november2009) At least today i am because tomorrow i'm going out again xD so must be a good girl and help mum with some house chores =D



Hmmm.. so much to do yet so little time. That was directly on the night that our finals ended. I have to say, it was a AWESOME night! =D



I know I look like a drunk girl out there ><
I admit, i drank a little too much but man, it will be my first and last, OF course i wanna enjoy it to the fullest! How could i let that oppurtunity slip away just like that, right? But i know what i'm doing okay -.-




MOS's dancefloor was so jam packed. I dun even know how did we squeezed in there but i was more than grateful enough bcoz the boys were protective enough to protect the girls. I was actually quite impressed by that. lol..Not mentioning i was a burden for all of them ><





Sorry, my brothers and i really appreciate what you guys had done for me. I'm perfectly fine actually, just that.. i'm kinda out of my head, i just wanna drink! ><


Puke quite a few times when we're around the several places. Thank God i didnt puke INSIDE the pyramid even though it's ald 5am in the morning. I have to say, first time in my life, i have never ever seen pyramid as empty as an abandon condo. lol.. But i did puke infront of the car park where we were suppose to pay our ticket, while we were waiting for Ken and Jason to walk over since Jack forgotten to give Yong Wei the ticket. I couldnt rmb how many times i've puked but i rmb there was a CCTV infront. lol.. On the way to fetch Jack, puke a little again when he was getting into the car. lol. That is so embarrassing -.- With 5ppl waiting and watching you puke, how embarrass can that be?!



Not forgetting that i was in a spinning world for almost a week only i was fully recovered.






lol.. I know it's a childish act -.- but thank God, Gen, Soo Teng, Chee Yoong and Lik Sin are nice enough to take out their time and accompany me to go to places like that =)

♥ Huggies to them!♥

I was desperate to go see crocodiles! Because i think they're AWESOME! =D


Jason(Chee Yoong) said that he can even just go back his kampung and look at those animals. lol. Which.. i kinda agree on that with him.


After dropping Lik Sin back home, Four of us, Gen Gen, Teng Teng, Jason and me, went to "Look Out Point". It was my first time up there. Not too bad =)


All of us haven eat our breakfast and lunch ever since morning. Soo Teng was too hungry til she had a bad tummy ache ><
My guess is that she's having gastric ><
but whatever it is, Hopefully it'll get better ><




Oh yeah! This part >< I'll never ever forget.



On our way to "Look Out Point", I kinda have a small conflict with Gen. Basically, the main problem is with me -.- I was annoying shit and I think i annoyed the hell out of him which after that, I keep telling myself, "You're such a bitch! Cant you just keep your mouth shut for one freaking day?!"



My mind is screaming inside, that sentence kept repeating over and over again. I can feel the heat of my cheeks raising, maybe i'm blushing ><><


That night, 4of us ate what 6people can eat. Gen and Soo Teng even have ice-cream banana for dessert! We were so full and round. lol.. okay -.- Maybe not the round part. Sounded so wrong.



And we went Genting as well. But this time, it's a larger group. Gosh... I'm so lazy to type further more -.-
Might as well just let the pictures do the talking. So many more but i guess i'll just stop here =)

12:03 PM

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It's weird that how fast time flies.
And there she goes...
Her new journey begins......


She was my teacher.
She's beautiful
She's intelligent
She's tough
She's everything that I wanted to have a person like her in my life.
If i am in her age and IF i'm a guy, I would definitely kill to have her as my wife.


Without her, I dont think i would be having my own thoughts and answers to all my questions when i was having, back then.



She was like my guardian angel who is constantly there to remind me on where i'm standing now and then. She look at me on how i grow ever since when i'm still in Form1. She reminded me of how i used to be and who am i when i was back then.




I've seen a great deal in myself. She had shown me many things that i never thought of and nurture me like a mother do even though she's that young(which is only 20plus)



Sometimes i even wish that she's my mum. lol.. xD
Because i knew that, if she really is, she'll be guiding me throughout my life and i would have more wisdom in making the right choice in my everyday life.





But now she has her own life to deal with.
Her new journey starts here and now. I'm gonna miss her miserably.
Her single life.
When she still has the time for us..



I may not know all her histories but after all these years of knowing her, she's not an easy leg to get and that's what i like about her. She's a lady-in-waiting. That shows a great testimony to all the girls out there.







Cheers to you, Yien Fang and Choon Chong. I'll always remember you both in my prayers and thanks for everything that you've done for me.





~GraceKoh~

9:38 PM

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Funny enough. I have no idea how time flies after getting drunk the other day. As though my brain cells are gradually dying. I have no sense on everything. I cant hardly remember a thing, including things that i've just said or did for the passed few seconds. I need at least a few seconds to disgust what others had just said but words that come out from my mouth, i hardly know what i'm saying til the sentence are fully out after a few seconds. How bad can that be? It's like a 100years old old lady's brain? I think they can even think better than me!



It felt like as though this reality world is just a dream that i'm waiting on to wake up.




As she lied on her bed the other night, a rush of emotions took over her.
If you've seen the movie "new moon", the scene where Bella's screaming in pain on her bed,
Yes. That's how she felt that night except that she's not screaming, duh! -.-






Those emotions are so indescribable. They are like waterfalls that couldn't be stop.






...and more to come. One by one, Each of them flush in like there's nothing that can be done to stop them. Hit her hard on the face.



It's funny that this happened but it's weird.
She cuddled up herself like a prawn on her bed to get some warm and comfort. Not knowing that tears suddenly started to will up against her closed eyes.
She felt like smacking and hitting everything that comes in her way. Scream, but come to think of it, it look pretty much like some psycho ppl -.- no? lol




Every night, weird dreams haunted her for no reason.

2:57 PM

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Just having a few thoughts on this after hearing it from somewhere. And this is my sharing for the day =)




Many times, we all thought that we know what "LoVe" means.



When you're with someone, no matter what age we were in, we tend to say the word " I LOVE YOU" to another person, don't we? Especially when we're in a relationship status. At that moment, it feels right because at that time, we thought that we know what love means and we say to another person with passion.



But what if things turn out ugly, will we still be telling that person that we love them?
What if they back stab us from the back til we feel like falling apart, will we still love them?



Sometimes, we don't even know what is the real meaning of love and this is when it gets complicated. Without love, we're nothing.


Lets take a look at this.







This is what people nowadays are thinking. I'm not sure about Malaysian but it's all around America. After having a good think about it, i realized that when we said the word "I LOVE YOU", in real, it's just so empty and shallow.




So, what does God have to say for love?

• Lay down your life for others

By making a commitment/promise to each other, it doesn't mean that we have to use our body as a symbol to do so. Couples can make their promise to each other by making a commitment to protect each others purity. It's a way that we tell each other that............


This is how you show a person that you love them. But what is this gonna do with "lay down your life for others"? It means that you're putting the person that you love in the first place and putting your needs aside. True love is selfless.



Often, i thought that... I know how to love. Sacrifice for one and let them come first is a way of showing them that i love them. But somehow, i lose control and let myself get overboard at times and that is when people never return the favor by showing a little appreciation and I got hurt. It may sounds rather stupid and weak but that is who i am and i couldn't help it by taking things seriously, especially when it comes to people that i really want to build a relationship. It doesn't have to be a boy girl relationship, it can also stands for family and friendships.




But what I'm really trying to say is that.. I realized that, I'm using MY way to love people instead of what God had thought us what love is all about and how to love others. I thought I'm doing the right way, but i was wrong. So, so wrong. And that's the reason why I get hurt so easily and this is all because of my behavior which I'm only thinking about myself and MY WAY of loving others. I always thought about What can I do for others to make them happy so i wouldn't offend them and so forward.




I'm so selfish. I didn't use LOVE in the correct way. When i used it in the wrong way, I felt unsatisfied and worst come to worst, jealousy took over me. Trust me, jealousy is a scary thing. But i was once again reminded by God that, I cant do this MY way because this will leads to nowhere but to Satan. Once again, I thanked Him. There's so much that he'd gave me in life, but never once, i would know how to appreciate it. Maybe at times, I do. But often, i forget.




That is why, there are so many reasons for us to love each other because Jesus Christ had show it to us on the cross. This is what i had for the day. I'm off to hit the sacks =)




Great days ahead people =)
Good Night..



~GraceKoh~

12:20 AM

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~GraceKoh~

5:11 PM

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*You know who you are, and i hope you'll see this too*

3:45 PM

All the boredoms.

Just a nobody who's name's Grace Koh

Talking bout her life and this is a place for her to ramble about =)

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