~.×..whåt comes ârÕund, gØes ãrÔund..×.~

你,总会在我身旁

2010-10-19T20:55:00.005+08:00

我从不相信自己,　也无法面对现实
当生命失去了光,　我就失去了方向

前路依然很模糊,　要挣脱许多束缚
你让我依靠,　让我坚强,　你守护在我身旁

每当我需要依靠你,　你一定会在这里
有你的地方,　就有阳光　
你总会在我身旁

当我还不够坚强,　推翻命运的围墙
你还是和我在一起,　给我无限的勇气

路依然走得困难,　当我变成了负担
你依然把我紧紧拉著　我就是最幸福的

太多的恩典...
谢谢你，阿爸天父,因为你让我看到光而总是在我身旁给我上头来的力量。虽在每天的生活里都有许多的挫折，可是你一再二在的怜悯我这个不配的罪人。

也谢谢你，愿神也赐你上头来的智慧和力量。
谢谢你，因为爱着我，教导我如何更坚强.........

”没用“变成”有用“

2010-10-19T20:15:00.005+08:00

"没用" 变成 "有用"

Just a sharing on what I've learn today.....

每个人都会有错，但每个人都会有用；
不会因为犯过错，就变得以后一无是处。
不错都已经错了，在这个问题上纠缠实无意义。
不如看看接下来能做些什么，可以补偿，可以改进。
然后从中换上新的全副军装。

不要因为做得不好而气馁，讨厌自己。
应该更加倍努力。
累了，就停下来休息一会儿。然后再继续走。
路依然走得很困难，但是只要有心和尽力就好。
不要就这样放弃。

世界还是一样的美丽。
不要自卑，因为一定有某些恩赐比别人强。

"自强不息"，不是每个人都可以做到。
有些"废物垃圾" 要一只把他们捡起来的手，并相信它仍然"有用"。
例如 :: 吸毒者

要毁灭自己的其中一个原因是 ::
“自觉无用”

我们都应该找回自己的用处，价值和位置。

加油！=)
Amen!

~GraceKoh~

妈妈的信

2010-10-19T18:14:00.006+08:00

妈妈的信

昨晚从外面回来，发现垃圾仍在垃圾桶里，虽是意料中事，心里仍一阵莫名的刺痛。孩子，你从来都不会主动的帮妈妈倒垃圾，尽管我曾三申五令，乃至于千拜托万拜托，但似乎不曾在你心里起任何涟漪。

走进房间，衣服，裤子杂乱的躺在床上，地上；被子晚上还要改所以不要折；用过的卫生纸，食品的包装盒。。更是随处可见，为何如此？追根究底，是我们溺爱了你,没有把你管教好。

一直以为你还小，慢慢你会懂，时间证明我们是错的，“每个人都想要拯救世界，却没有人愿意帮妈妈洗碗”，这是多沉痛的呐喊！

再过几年，你可能离家，现在我不愿为这类琐碎的家事与你不愉快，因为我想 :: " 虽然你不喜欢做家事，并不代表你不爱这个家", 否则，你也不会休假时，宁可成天窝在家，看电视也好，打电动机也罢，有时还要忍受妈妈的唠叨。也许，希望也许，几年后身为游子的你，想起家中的种种方便，和父母的纵容，在不经意的刹那，会有个声音在你耳边悄悄响起...

“原来我一直如此好命”

期望你曾有的“好命”，能嘉惠你未来的家庭。
有人说 :: "孩子我们教不来，以后就让他的老婆来教吧!".

为了你爱的人，为了你的家庭幸福美满，我想不单是做家事，任何事你也会愿意为他们做----真如你的父母为你所做。

=============*=================*===============*==================*==

看了这位妈妈的心情故事，身为女儿的我，有几分钟都无法言语。
熟悉的画面...

“养儿方知父母恩”

大多数人都要等到为人父，为人母，才真切的体会到父母的辛苦。这时才愿意放慢脚步，看看那已花白头发的老人。幸运的人，也许还来得及回头，牵起父母的手。

虽然有时父母在于表达爱的方式有点迟钝，使得我们体会不到。或无意间在言语上不小心伤害了我们小小的心灵，不过到头来，他们也是最爱我们的那个。毕竟，上帝赐他们成为我们的父母必定有祂的美意。

你们作儿女的，要在主里听从父母，
这是理所当然的.要孝敬父母，使你得福，
在世长寿。这是第一条带应许的诫命。
弗6:1-3

~GraceKoh~

Rain and Raindrops

2010-10-05T22:13:00.005+08:00

Laugh and giggle was all i had in mind as i ran under the rain. It felt as though we were dancing as the raindrops continues to hit our face. They came down hard but that's what makes it beautiful.

I could feel my messy hair flying all around the place and some sticking on my forehead as i continue to run, but i wouldn't care. I closed my eyes as i looked up the sky. I didnt know how to feel but continue to laugh and giggle.

I turned back to look at him, hoping that he would join me. Amazingly, he did. I still remember the way he ran as he smile.

I remembered the way he smiled.
I remembered the way I smiled.
I remembered that scene.
I remembered the day.

And as i recall back, i look at myself as though i'm a child again. If there was by any chance, i would love to do it again =)

Except this time, i will be dancing and turning in circles under the rain because it felt as though your burdens were washed away by the rain.

I would only laugh and giggle because it was a feeling, knowing that someone was still with you when there's a heavy rain. Sometimes through the journey, you would look back and find that person smiling back at you. Knowing that they got your back.

With that slight smile, it means the whole world to you. Because that was more than enough to keep you strong and keep you going through the rain that was coming your way.

Cheers people and God bless =)

~GraceKoh~

彩虹下的约定

2010-09-18T17:02:00.003+08:00

我空虚的心灵, 终于不再流泪.
期待这雨后缤纷的彩虹
诉说你我的约定

我不安的脚步, 终于可以停歇
祝你, 因为我爱上了生命

闭上眼与你有约
是永恒的约

彩虹,
为证千古不变

我要高歌为生命喜悦
万物歌颂你的慈爱,
大地诉说你的恩典

我空虚的心灵，终于不再流泪

========================*====================*===================*===

不知为什么，每当看到彩虹时，心里，有说不出的感觉。

感恩，
喜乐，
安慰，
盼望，
仰望。

眼睛也不知不觉的一直瞪着它看。
心里安静的想着，

“哇~~~!!! 好美哦!!!
上帝真是太厉害了！
酱美的东西，他竟然还会把它创造出来！
真是太神奇了!!!”

那刻，我感觉到他的存在。因为，感觉到他的应许是真实的。
世界上的万物都将废弃，可是他的话却长存。

在我们的生活圈子里，种种的压力都是会找上我们的。那是难免的。可是庆幸的，我们有权利去控制这些压力。就在于你要以怎样的态度去面对。有时，当你真真去思考时，你会发现，压力反而能指引我们的信心。经过考验后，就产生忍耐。

Okay. That's just the upper part. Having difficulty typing chinese =_=

Hmmm.. Just suddenly thought of posting something since it's been quite awhile since i last blogged? God knows when there will be a next time. Probably in two months time or so. hahaha..

But what i've learnt throughout these few weeks is that, i finally learn to put down everything including my own desires and let God be my guide. He'll take the lead.

And i realized that, when you put faith and trust onto Him and let Him take over your life, that's when miracles happened. Amazingly, but yeah!

我反而发现，当你选择顺服，相信，仰望与交托的时候，忧郁就会自然而然的离你越来越远。
那时候，你就会体会到 “喜乐”。
一次又一次的奇迹就自然的产生。

如经上记者说 :: "你们遭遇各种试炼的时候，都要看为喜乐"

我也学到，一个真正睿智的人以适当的角度看问题，并能作明智又敏感的决定。当你真诚的去对待每样人，事，物，凡事以谦卑，原谅的态度去对待，不去计较，不去埋怨，就算自己吃亏也无所谓。上帝都把这一切看在眼里。相反的他会更加倍的祝福你。

生命虽然软弱，可它却是何等的宝贵。

Life was never easy but at least, it was worth it when you're on the right path.

Great days ahead people =)
Cheers ~!

~GraceKoh~

朋友，加油！

2010-08-28T18:51:00.003+08:00

听着她那伤心的哭声，我的心，碎了。

爱着一个人，却知道永远都没可能得到他，是何等的痛，何等的伤。看着他的房间，空了，走了。他的味道，他的东西，他的人，随着一切，走了。痛啊！！！

可恶的是，他不知道她喜欢上了他？没办法改变事实的她，也只能以泪洗面。而身为朋友的我，一时反应不过来。只能静静的听着她的哭声。

朋友，那时，我是多么的想拥抱你啊。。陪着你，让你躺在我的怀抱，摸你的头，告诉你“有我在”。多么想与你承担。我宁愿承担你的伤心，都不要听你哭的将惨。可是真知道，最后，你得自己面对这伤口。最大的敌人还是你自己，要学会放下。真的不容易。旁人只能给予支持与安慰。

你的心，听着它碎着，我都想把它捡起来。就算捡到手流血，我也愿意。

朋友，加油！我会背着你的。

Dedicate this song to you -
对不起，我爱你

No one says it's wrong to fall for someone. But often, it still hurts when they do not know. Worst come to worst, you know they will never be yours.

~GraceKoh~

感动篇‘一’

2010-08-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

愿爱你能像个天使般守护着你原来走了很久的路程

常从温着的变得冷却的远处遥望着祈祷着你平安

张开双手等待着你归来怀抱

就像个天堂看着幻想等待原来也可以是美好的

宝贝不哭原来泪水不再掉落在不该落的地方

偶尔翻开日记瞧着你留下的笔记写着你我的名字

原来催眠着是自己戴上面具的天使

受不了伤害不给人看他不开心的一面

只收藏着回忆给人看了他面具上的微笑

是躲在角落关心着你注意着你

清楚的是远方瞧着你的笑容淡忘的那一刻

给了伤口上的药剂想念你的我是希望你幸福

原来已习惯了爱着你想着你

心里的挣扎开始解脱了

面具随着天使飞上了天堂

微笑着隐约隐藏着没人懂的感觉

他说爱你是幸福的

等你是开心的

不求回报的滴着血泪守护着她

像童话故事般只是少了你能添补上的色彩

是黑白的面具上出现了裂痕

原来爱一个人很容易要放下她却很难

朋友醒来吧她不希望你是如此的眷恋和期待

朋友一路一起走谢谢你们

woohoo!

2010-08-23T19:07:00.003+08:00

看着那失望的星星，月亮留下了她那明亮的眼泪，

彷述说着我的伤心，我不再翘望着自己

将心比心，上帝的带领下，我看见了光亮

不再陷入黑暗内，不再哭泣，这世界伤心的人有多少，

我也不是唯一的那个，有祂陪伴着我，多少伤心也赢不了那开心

开心祂赐给了我 ‘恩典’ grace '

祂所设立下的道路指引了我的去处，祂为我铺下了让我将进入天堂的道路

我很开心，从来都没如此开心过，荣耀着上帝

虽然因为事业和功课等压力下，我曾冷淡，但我忏悔，我认罪

所以我要更加努力的侍奉祂，荣耀祂

做任何一件可以荣耀祂，让祂欢喜的事

道路虽然是如此的模糊，但我坚信着祂

感谢上帝赐给了我这幸福的生活

试炼虽然充满着波折，但我相信只要以祂为中心

一切都不再困难 =）

止。

2010-08-03T20:34:00.002+08:00

2010-07-16T11:35:00.003+08:00

You don't have to be perfect to let someone to love you the way you wanted to be loved. Always remember, being simple is the most perfect way to make me fall in love with you.

Quoted by Jia Hui

Somehow, i do agree with her. Simply because simple, reviews everything and that is when you start to love that person more than you ever did before.

~GraceKoh~

So much for a day..

2010-07-07T21:56:00.003+08:00

First, i almost die today. A car was directly speeding down the road and the wonderful me wasn't having my mind focus as i drive out from a corner of a street. Thank goodness that car driver braked as hard as possible til his car made a loud noise and slipped to a side. If it wasn't for him braking this hard, I'm gone case. Plus, the head of his car was facing my car's driver seat. So, you can imagine if he continues to step on that accelerator, I would have had broken arms and legs. Maybe even head flying out and body being squashed. hahaha..

Sadly, i'm still alive.
Unharmed =_=

Secondly, I accidentally saw this lady at the field. Cuddling herself like a prawn as she sat beside a big drain by the road side. It was raining heavily but she didn't move an itch. I can see that droplets of water were streaming down her long black hair. Obviously, she's crying. I wanted to get out of the car and comfort her, but i didn't. What an asshole i am =_=

But looking at her, my mind got carried away again. Because that was exactly how'd i felt at that moment. I might not know what happened to her, but if by any chances, i would do the same thing as she does, if i had the chance.

~GraceKoh~

HER, my life ♥♥♥

2010-06-19T12:20:00.004+08:00

When she was young, I used to stick to her like a magnet.

Remembering the day when i first met her. It felt like as if I've fallen in love with the world most cutest thing ever! I've known that my cats and "cats that i USED" to adopt are beautiful but after meeting HER, she was the ONLY thing that i have my eyes on.

Remembering every night, i always peep at her where she was sleeping under my bed. Kiss her on the forehead after saying goodnight. Rushing back home from college just to see her. First sentence when I'm back will be always either "where is she?" or "how is she doing" instead of "mummy, i'm home"

Hmmm.. i guess at my 18/19years, i've finally know how to love people and things? Hmmm.. for the first time, i manage to find things that i could love more and put my love more on them. And yes, i learned to fall in love for the very first time. Maybe not on humans yet, but animals. Humans, maybe i've found one. But i'm not sure whether that person will finally let me walk in those those doors that their hiding themselves back at =)

Not denying that it WAS very tiring. But at least she taught me be to be patient and taught me to love her more even though how much pain and headache she gave me. And most importantly, she reminds me of my parents. Weirdly, somehow she almost has the same character as i did except that the fact she LOVES milk and i dun =S

Hmmm.. Why would i say that she reminded me of my parents? Firstly, she's like a mirror to me. She reflected me. And i have responsibility to take care of her, which in another word, i'm her "parent". She was soo stubborn til i often wanted to kill her and tell her "NO!" she cant do this and that. I might be looking and babbling like i'm angry and regretting for having her from the outside but one thing still remains, my heart always aches when she did something wrong and my love for her never fades a single itch. But this was only for a year?

Imagining my parents have me as their child for 19years. How tiring it can be when you have a daughter like me? Never once i realized any of this. Not until these few months. Blaming them that they never did anything for me? Arguing that they dun understand me? What's the use? Well, maybe i didn't blame them -.-

Last night(Friday), i went down klang for a gathering with the fellowship. On the way back, i got lost. By then, it was nearly 10.30pm. The road was dark and it's a kampung road. Yes, i'm afraid and i'm so FREAKING tired because it's ald night time. With no road lights on, i have to "extra" use my eyes power to freaking look at the road so that i wont bum into some dead animal body or bang some lorry from opposite of the road that i'm driving at.

Yes, i was pissed. I just wanna go home. By the time when i got home, it was ald 11.35pm. Thank goodness manage to find the way. Tiring but yet, as i opened the front gate in order to park the car into the porch, without any effort, she jumped into the car as i opened the gate. She sat at the car's driver sit and as i got into the car, she automatically shifted herself to the passenger sit and sat down quietly. Maybe groaning a little. Like she's saying "how's your day?"

I moved the car in. I turned off car headlights. Closed my eyes and lean my head against the driver sit with a sigh. This was when she came up to me and lean her head against my chest. I hugged her and squeezed her. She never hold back but she dig her head more nearer to me. I looked at her eyes for awhile and she looked back at me. She licked my cheek *in dogs, means kissed* i kissed her back on her forehead and hugged her again.

Everything disappeared at that moment.
Tiredness, anger, disappointment, fear.
EVERYTHING.

I felt that as if i've neglected her for awhile and finally having a few days to spend with her. It paid the price. She started to understand me and showed appreciation.

For the passed few days, I spent hours bringing her out because i was going through some rough times and i needed space so i've been spending most of my time with HER. Talking, running and just staying silence with her.

Back to reality, this reminds me of my parents coming back from work. All they need is just a little appreciation and that's the most wonderful thing that can ever happened in the world.

As a conclusion for this post, i've learned that........

Firstly, if you want people to love you, you, yourself have to start by loving them first. Especially the love you have for your family, sometimes it might not be pleasant because sometimes, not because they dun love you, just that they DON'T know HOW to show or to tell you that they love you. Blame them or whatever you wanna do, but by the end of the day, they are STILL your family. I believe that God had his own purpose for putting everyone of us in different families.

Secondly, Sometimes, when you did something for them, this will make them love you even more and they'll change. This is what happened to me and her. And i'm now planning by starting of at my family =)

Qiu Hong, a friend of mine, said to me: You have to start by loving God. Because only God's love for us is real. Without loving him, you wont be able to love others. Yes, you might be able to love others but not in a correct way.

Thirdly, Don't try to change anyone because that will never happen. If you did, congraz to you. But was that person happy with who he/she become? We do not know. But what i've learn is maybe we can start by changing ourselves ;) and soon, people will see YOU for who you really are. And you might not know, maybe they'll even change? =)

Great days ahead people..

~GraceKoh~

The end? Or new chapter?

2010-06-12T20:50:00.004+08:00

Date :: 12 June 2010
Time :: 20:27pm

It's the end of our story?
Or was it the beginning of our new story?

No one knows
No one cares
Time, will tell.

Promise fulfilled..

2010-06-06T17:59:00.008+08:00

Two years ago, on this day, at this hour. I was in my room and I was asking myself, "HOW TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE?" Daylight, i'm trying to be a tough girl who have no emotions on her face. No laughter. Nothing. At night, i'll be covering myself to bed in tears. I'm such a lifeless person back then. So anti social. Especially i'm starting to HATE boys but that was only a short period of time. lol. Not until i met my college mates. That's the most scariest part but thank God, i ain't interest on lesbian stuff altho i still do check girls out with Nelson everyday in school, even now still =p

Two years later, on this day, at this hour, I'm sitting in front of my desktop, typing this out.
Being MYSELF.
Being happy about my life.
Being happy being SINGLE. lol.

I couldn't believe howdah time flies. But it really does.

Yesterday, it used to be our anniversary day.
Two years later, it was not. Not anymore. Not ever after the following days or years.

What i'm trying to say is that, Thank YOU =)

Nope, not in a sarcastic way but in a way of thanking you for letting me see the world for once and letting me to do things that i've always wanted to do most, which are crazy shits ;)

And thank you for hurting me because if it wasn't for you, i wouldn't have been a better person today. Mostly childish i guess. lol.

Thank you for letting me know how it was like to fell in love and to be loved back at the same time. Although i'm not sure by then do i really understand the meaning of "LOVE" but I'm sure most of my actions that i had done towards you already said it all.

And to you, Yu Shi Yang, i've shown and prove to you what i can do and i've kept my promise to you for being single.

Yes, this promise is for you and myself.

I'm doing it for you, is because you're the only one left to help me through with my sorrows by then. Remembering that night, Yeah, those harsh words, those tears, those eyes, those disappointment, you've told me over and over again. And in the end, you made me make this promise. Not knowing would i make it, you doubt. But in order to prove it to you that "I CAN!!!", i bared the pain til it numbed me. Til it fade away.......

I'm doing it for myself is because i still have my parents to depend on me later in life and i know that they would never survive later in life without me. I'm doing it for my future, my SPM cert, my trust towards my parents. EVERYTHING. I'm walking on storns as each steps i take. But because of this, i was a better person today.

Not easy i could say. Especially when your parents tend to always doubt you every single hours and days and accuse that you're lying to them which made you dont even know you should say the truth or tell lies. Because when you tell them the truth, they think you're lying and when you didn't tell them, it gets even uglier. Obviously, TRUST wasn't there anymore. All they know is to add oil into the fire which burns you til you dun even felt like living anymore.

Another thank you to my precious beloved Father in Heaven. With YOU, with your love, your hands and your words, my scars and wounds are heal. Not immediately but slowly. Often enough, i kneeled before you to search for you for support because there was none in this world and i'm lost. Everything seems so meaningless yet, you've used so many people in my life to help me out through this hard time. Coincidentally? No, because I've known all this while, you allowed these people to appear because it was part of your plan in my life. I've been blessed and even til today, i am still. Sometimes things still doesn't goes as perfect as it should be =)

But one thing for sure, I've never been happier than before. In this two years, I've learn to love life more when you're still single because there's so much you can do without being attach to anyone. You're on your own. No one to tied you up. No one to control you on what you're doing. No one who will worry or care about you, no one who will stick to you like a sticky glue til you cant even breathe etc, vice verse. I've learn to grow and find myself for who i really am and what I'm capable of instead of always not having my own stands and view. I've learn about, every page of our life is a new chapter. So what if it ends? Why am i even holding back from making new memories. But obviously, it took a year later from making me realizing that -.- dang~!

Yeap, hard enough to keep a promise when you've made it because things will still tempted you from the corner of our sideways as we walked in life but it's up to us to set our minds straight and say............

"Hey, no. Come back! Promise is more important.
I've made it, then fulfill it!
Don't be like other people.
I MUST take responsibility for what i've promised
and show them I CAN!!!"

Who cares if the person who you've told to forgotten what you've used to promise to him/her about, as long you still remember what you, yourself promised. then, fulfill it!

I've just never been this proud of myself. lol. Cheh =p
But really, the journey was.. indescribable. For those who've been through heart breaks. As in the real real real heart breaks, you'll understand how'd it felt like ;)

It took me years to overcome it. And i'm now officially over it. Only memories that were left to be remembered ;) not ever once, i blamed or complain about why do i have to meet you or go through all this with you but only grateful. Hopefully you're doing great in life too, because i am =)

Cheers~!!!!

Great days ahead people..

~GraceKoh~

I remembered that night......

2010-06-04T12:25:00.004+08:00

The night was cold, the wind was strong. I still remembered the 5 of us were walking across the seafront. It was night time. I wasn't concentrating on what they're talking because i was covered up in my own imagination world.

As i walked, I remembered feeling of the soft sands saying "HELLO" to my little feet. They were melting against me as i take each steps on 'em.
I remembered seeing the stars twinkling above me as i looked up to the dark blue sky.
I remembered seeing the beautiful moon that I've never seen back in Subang.
I remembered hearing the waves crashing against the shore gently.
I remembered the wind blew against my cheeks. Strong but gentle and comforting.
I remembered seeing yellowish light bulbs on my right where music filled the air. People were dancing, eating, playing with sands and some were even dating. lol.

Amazing how'd it all felt, and that's when i thought of YOU.

"How Great Thou Art"

was the song that describes it all.
I remembered the other day, i don't get it why as i sang that song, tears started to float and soon, they started drifting down on my cheeks.

How i wish i could turn back time when i'm still at Redang when everything just seems right. I regretted for not doing the one thing i've always wanted to do when i get the chance to be on the beach. Which is lay myself on the soft sands and looking up to the stars.

I've always wanted to do that but i just don't get it why didn't i do so during then -.-

I guess we all have our own side on what we wanted/planned to do when we get the chance to be on beaches, huh? Well, com'on, more or less, sometimes we'll tend to imagine things that are not gonna happen and which it's crazy -.-

Sometimes, some people will tend imagine to have a fairytale story on the beach. Some, hmmm.. I don't know. But yeah, i admit -.- Sometimes i do wish there will be fairytales but obviously, those are just bullshits -.-

But whenever i think of beaches, all i wanted to is to lay there in silence. Even alone or with a person will do. If that's someone special, like a BEST BEST friend or just anyone who's important to me, it would be more beautiful. But i prefer to stay silent. Because all I wanted to do at that moment is to listen to the sound of the waves which are so incredibly beautiful. Or maybe run like a small kid at the seafront but people might think i'm crazy -.-

Okay -.-
I'm feeling like such an idiot for saying stuff like this.
But overall, i just feel like going back to beaches and do the one thing that i could do =( But will there be another chance of doing so? Laying down on those soft sands and look up to the sky and hear the sound of those waves?

I don't know...................

~GraceKoh~

If i just know you better...

2010-05-26T13:30:00.005+08:00

Until today, i've finally decided to write what i wanted to tell you people and this had been bothering me for quite some time.

I'm so grateful that i've knew you guys and that you guys existed and show me what FRIENDSHIP really is. Especially the BOYS. My mum even compliment some of you. Like Gen, Ken, Jason Tam, Raymond and Jack etc.. Those who she'd met. You boys really caught me of guard and open my eyes to see certain things that i'm almost giving up on. Having to share how does it feels like to be in a friendship with you guys, i couldn't describe the feeling in words but it is just AMAZING! =D

But what i regret most is i that i never ever get the chance to know each and everyone of YOU better =(

As i was writing this, i realized one thing. I've used to make this prayer over and over again for years. How could i not realized it ever since the begining? *laugh at myself*

Well, God is mighty and good =)
He does listens =)

Each and everyone of us will be going our own different ways but hopefully this FRIENDSHIP that we once had will be kept and remembered =)

I appreciated spending every single minutes and days with ya all, how about you? ;)

Cheers~!

~GraceKoh~

Wound?

2010-05-23T23:31:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it just tears you apart. Something inside you, tearing your meat out. Little by little, til your blood starts to drip. The next thing you know, you're all by yourself with your wound again. So why putting in so much when you know it hurts so badly? Call yourself a dummy because often, we are one =)

Wanted to turn to someone so badly but you just dunno who to turn to. In the end, you can only whisper to yourself and cried yourself to bed.

How'd that happened?

2010-05-21T11:45:00.003+08:00

Was that what had happened? In an blink of an eye, everything seems to spin around like a ball being spinned without direction. What's next?

Fear, guilt and sorrows filled in as i thought about HER. Don't want to be that bad ones but it just happened.

I Never Told YOU

2010-05-17T22:52:00.002+08:00

I miss those blue eyes
How you kissed me at night
I miss the way we see
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you.
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about YOU

I can't believe I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to when I'm not around you
It's like I'm gone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you.
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about YOU

I can't believe I still want You
After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

After all the things we've
Been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

Looking at him.......

2010-05-06T19:00:00.006+08:00

Looking at him missing her every single second reminded me of so many stuff. When you love someone, you're willing to give everything, just about EVERYTHING to that person. I was once like that, but i guess now, i'm not anymore.

A person who was once hurt in love, will never give out as much as they used before.

Looking at him, waiting patiently for her approach and appear every single second, minute, hour, day. My heart aches but felt proud that at least there's a guy who finally showed me that they're like me too. And that they're not like some other jerk who played around and will never appreciates a girl. So at least i'm not one of those stupid ones to wait like that.

Wanting her so desperately to be by his side, but there's nothing he can do. Wait, was the only thing that he can do. Often enough, he wanted to be by her side. Protect her and give her the comfort that he could to make her feel so much better when she's out there in the world, seeing new things and feels lonely during those nights.

If you were to be given a task, the person who you're waiting for, doesn't seems to see or realize every sacrifice that you've made, what would you do? You tried telling them but they tend to forget about what you said later on. Was that even your fault? Or was that just meant to be?

Often felt that you need a break from this whole shit, but still afraid of losing the one that you love so dearly to slip away during this "break".

What if this relationship can't make it?
Are you going to blame the world just because of what she had done to you?

就因她，你宁愿伤害那些无辜的女孩子?

But does these girls deserves to be hurt? Yes, i know that you're once hurt, BADLY. But that doesn't mean all girls are the same. Some girls are not HER. They don't deserve to be hurt when they're giving in in a relationship just like how you're giving in right now. To be honest, I don't really know what to say. But what i heard, it hurts me and it disappointed me. Tell me i'm not understandable but i'm sure i went through that before and time, is all the answers.

I don't know what stage are we at now but i was very very grateful that you shared with me about this the other night. Because this increased my self esteem. Bet you don't know ;)

I felt that, "Hey! At least i'm trustworthy for you." You wouldn't know how joyful i am. Finally we sat down together and talk. I was very happy to be your listener and i'm more willing too. But what i regret later on, I was reminded that maybe sometimes, when you felt like pointing out your views, you should say it out.

I often know that what i wanted to say but as not to offend you, i rather not tell you that you're doing something very very wrong. I wanted to tell you to stop, I wanted to shake you and call you to wake up, i wanted to shout at you but i was afraid that you would leave me and never tell things to me ever again because i'm such a nag.

Later on, i would blame myself and scold, shout at myself for being such an idiot for not saying my views out. I know you have your thoughts, but not everytime, it's correct. You need some guidance. I would want to guide you, but i just dunno how. I even suck being myself.

I know you would dislike and push me aside if i ever say anything more. So i stayed quiet because it's the most safe way to maintain the whole friendship and trust thing. But after realizing, i was wrong. So wrong. It was my mistake.

Because, only a true friend who cares about you, dares to take out the guts to say the truth, and we all know the truth often hurts. And worst comes to worst, a true friend is doing this with a risk, which is losing this friendship. They're telling you just because they've seen you fallen out of the path and they're trying to lead you back into the right path by telling us the truth. But sometimes, we are blinded by our thoughts because we choose to numb ourselves and not wanting the numb to be over, because we don't want to face reality. Our mind was fully blocked til we can't see the view. Conflict occur and there goes the friendship.

So what if i finally take out the guts to tell you that you're wrong, at some ways. Would you hate me, dislike me, distance yourself away from me? I don't know but i hope you'll understand someday.

Bet you're enjoying life right now =)
Keep up the good word!!!
And good luck finding "yourself"

I'm just another passer by in your life =)

I hope you know who you are and i've kept my promise by writing this for YOU
Just to state to you again, Not all girls are the same. Just a few. You haven see the clearer view from outside of that box. So much more to learn.

Cheers~!!!

~GraceKoh~

Words which are rare enough to be said...

2010-05-06T18:29:00.005+08:00

When you said that you miss someone, do you really miss them for real or you just said it because they happened to be around? On your online list? Or in front of you? Bummed in to you somewhere around the world.

What if they're not around, i bet you'll forget you even said that "miss" word about hours or minutes ago. That is why, i never use these words because i never want to say words that i know i couldn't keep and i would forget them.

Just like "I love you". Easy to say eh? You'll never hear me say that to a person unless that's my guy, my family and ONLY those who means a lot to me.

"Miss"
"Swear"
"Promise"

These words were only said when i know that i will and can take fully responsibility on it. And did i keep them? I'm still on progress =)

Time will tell.

Words that i used are only SAID when i know i can fulfill them. If i'm not sure that i can fulfill and keep them, it's either i'll not make any promises to you or i'll let you know.

So, do you(readers) keep your words when you tell someone you swear, you promise, you love them? Well, it's up to you to decide on whether your words are important or these words are just an expression at that moment because you FEEL like it.

Think about it =)

Cheers~!

~GraceKoh~

Seeing her teared...

2010-05-02T21:11:00.007+08:00

Listening to her prayer half way, she teared.

Seeing and hearing at the same time, I can feel that it's eating her day by day. Little by little. I may not be her, but i'm still part of her. I loved her, but i never tell her through my very own mouth.

Not in my 10plus years. I don't even remember when was the last time i said "I LOVE YOU" to her. Never ever once i tell her that i love her because i don't have the guts too.

Seeing her teared... made me fall apart.
Seeing her teared... made my heart aches soooo badly.
Seeing her teared... made me cried with her.
Seeing her teared... made me wanna tell her, "It's okay, you still got me."
Seeing her teared... made me wanna hug her so tightly and cry out loud along with her.
Seeing her teared... made me realized that she had and IS hurt all this while.
Seeing her teared... made me wanna hate that person so badly but i know it's not right to do so
Seeing her teared... made me wanna say thank you for giving me this name, GRACE
Seeing her teared... made me wanna say sorry for ever being so selfish and foolish.
Seeing her teared... made me wanna say sorry for not showing you the support and love through my actions.
Seeing her teared... made me wants to shout to you and tell you that I LOVE YOU

But I will be by your side til the day we meet in heaven. I will protect you unless i leave this world early.

I'm sorry for your life but thank God, we've got HIM. Only he'll heal your shattered heart and His hand will comfort you and give you peace. It's just a few more years. Bare with me. I'll prayer for you because only prayer is the most strongest thing in the world, and that's all that matters.

Knowing that you're going through a hard time all these YEARS, but you're always trying to hide this away from us. Why?

Don't say sorry to me because this is NOT your fault! And whatever is the problem, it's my problem as well. Your problem is MY problem! I'm not a small kid anymore to not know what's going on.

But anyhow, i'm sure there's days and nights you're tearing without our realization. If i ever know that's happening, i swear i will be by your side to cry with you. You're strong and i'm proud of you. If i were ever to be on your position, I wouldn't know what to do.

Lastly, i just wants to say I LOVE YOU even though you will never see this but i've always ALWAYS love you. Just that..... I never have the guts to tell you.

With endless ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
GraceKoh

If we ever meet again...

2010-04-26T18:13:00.018+08:00

This post is specially written for my college mates. Well, maybe not EVERY ONE of them but i guess i'll be writing for most of them. Sorry to those who i've left out but it's been wonderful meeting and knowing you guys as well. So, leave if you cant stand the long post! lol

First up, Chow Pak Khin aka as Raymond

He was the first person whom i've met during the april intake orientation day. lol. Funny enough. I dunno how it all started. But it did. I still remember we exchanged our numbers at the concourse. lol. I think we lost contact half way through but we manage to keep in touch in the end. lol. And i remembered during the first semester, there was an english test, just to confirm which tutorial class a student should be located. I actually failed the test because i thought it was a joke -.- But he passed.

But the funniest thing is that, he insist he wanted to attend the same class as i do. How funny is that? lol. Due to language problem, sometimes it's hard to deliver certain message to him because seriously, when we first started to text each other, i dun freaking understand a single thing he was saying! And sometimes he dun even understand what i'm saying, which makes me want to shout at him. lol *but that was last time*

* Remembered this CPK? It was taken during our FIRST presentation *

I don't really understand him until he came in and join our gang. Especially during the Redang trip, i get to know him more. That doesn't mean that before this whole trip i don't understand him laaa -.-

I'm just saying, at least there's something MORE than just what i know previously. One thing that amazed me is that, i didn't know that he actually could be this FUN to be with. But it would be more fun if we have common language. He is a good boy. At least he'd changed, a lot! But seriously, sometimes he can be so daRn cute! lol. Like a small kid =D

Second up, Lee Chin Gen! aka Gen Gen

I dun remember how it all started but i do remember it all started by talking about adrian? LOL!
I guess what i've wanted to tell you, i've ald did ;) You've changed a lot too, you know? ;)

You've changed a lot too, you know? ;)

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Tam Chee Yoong, aka Jason Tam

* He is soooo gonna kill me if he saw this *

What can i say?
The first person who makes me laugh so hard til my head drops.
The first person who understand me so well til sometimes it amazed and freaks me out. LOL!
The first person who shows we what are REAL friends like.
The first person who listens to you when you're such a bitch.
The first person who allows me to hit SOOOOO many times without getting angry.
So so many more!

* Remembered this, TCY?
It was our first picture and my FIRST time hanging out with the gang
Not forgetting, the FIRST time you sat on my car *

So girls, if you ever have an eye on this guy. Go for it!
You'll not regret because he IS a REAL REAL REAL good guy! =)

But sometimes he is such a copy cat and he won't take the first move -.-
He wants something, but he will NEVER say the truth -.-
Sometimes when he says "no" but in real, he means "yes"
DUMMYYY!!!

But overall, if you ever know him well enough, he is a great guy and you should be honour if you're on his "favourite" list ;)

Cheong Chen Nam aka Nami

As you can see this cute boy over here who looks like a FISH with those bubbly eyes and mouth which will never be closed. lol

Funny enough. I never thought i would met someone who is as happy-go-lucky as he is. It's like, goodness. He is always so happy and flexible. Unlike some of us, always get emo and all -.-

But sometimes, he can be a little unsensitive but he's smart ;)

To be honest, when he haven get involve with this gang, i kinda.. Sorry nami if you see this. But hey, it's my blog. I wanted to be open and i want to voice out. So here goes. That happened when we were in semester2. I kinda.. had a bad mindset on him.

Well, in what way? In college, he was ALWAYS with a bunch of girls. Yeah, i thought he was trying to show off and stuff since he is always having the chances of having the chicqs surrounding him. I thought he was arrogant and always trying to act cute whenever he can. Worst come to worst, he joined into the group out of a sudden. I was like URGH! Damn!

But after awhile, i knew that i was wrong. All those mindset are just shallow mindset. He IS like that and that is HIS character. Which makes the things around him seem way much more happier and lighter instead of emo-ing. But sometimes he's jokes are a little lame -.- but his brain is seriously functioning superb fast! lol

So, sorry nami! I was wrong =(

This, is Zi Jian, aka Ken

Another genius! I tell you. He's like the best best friend, teacher and listener i've ever met. I guess we have certain things in common like what we like to do and stuff. Amazingly =)

I dun quite remembered how i got so close with him, i guess due to last sem's accounting? Maybe? We were like a crazy bunch of kids who were all doing accounts from evening til night time. And he was our teacher, oh, and jack too =)

If it wasn't for him, i might be retaking my accounts for this semester. The results seriously caught me off guard. I haven been concentrating throughout my whole semester because i dun understand a single thing about what my account teacher is saying because she teach so daRn fast til i couldnt even catch up. And i was actually giving up on myself. Until i met ken. I used two weeks time before our final exam to cover up all of my accounts chapter. Then results came out so shockingly til i dunno what to say but to say thank you to Zi Jian!

I will miss you so dearly when you fly to Sarawak! =(
Must remember to come back oh!
I'm sure John and Kevin will miss you dearly too even though sometimes they acted like they dun care.

This is Shir Gie =)

* LOL! Dun kill me xP *

Well, i met her during semester1. Again, i dun remember how i know her but i do remember that when i saw her, she's always so quiet and alone. Seriously i cant stand people being quiet and alone la ><

Makes me so "nan shou" lol
Besides, my first impression on her is that she's an innocent girl and gosh! She is PRETTY!!! =D * please -.- I'm not lesbian *

During semester1, we always stayed back at the library to study our micoeconomics but we still FAILED! -.-

Write so many notes but still so useless -.-
Her boyfriend joined in after that =)
Seeing her with him always makes me smile, because that's when i love most about her because she gets to be happy and active. Unlike when she's alone, with that "lost" and "lonely" word written on her face. lol

This is Kevin Chang! *shivers*

Gosh, he can be so out of control at times =/
But overall, he's okay =)

I was from the same primary school as he was. By then, he was such a show off -.-
Always bragging and bragging and bragging. Not to mention, he's temper is very HOT. If you know what it means. But i can see changes in him. I'm sure that he's trying as well =)

Well, we all are grown up now. It's time for a change ;)

Notice something, he's a dominant type. But not PURE dominant. Thank God.
Sometimes he will still listen. But it was fun when he's around. At least he talks alot which makes the whole thing goes on =)

As you can see, the girl beside him is his girl, Joyce.

Both of them had been together for almost nearly a year? Or more? I dunno. But it should be around there, i think...
What to say? She's our dai ka jie! lol
Very cute one indeed ;)

Her favourite post is the "peace" sign. lol.
She's alright. I never got the chance to really know her >< But she had her F4 (her sisters) hanging around her in college =) Sometimes talking to her was fun =) Especially when she and Jason Tai are having some disagreement, it's even funnier!

This is John TOOOOO. aka Big FaT Sotong! lol.
Helpful man. Always fetch Kevin from his house and back to his house. What a friend right?!
Drive up and down from one U to subang just to hang out with us. Wow?

He's alright =)
Recently i just noticed that he LOVES to bully Shir Gie. lol.

As you can see from the picture, that, is his girlfriend. Jie Ling.
Another couple. Aww..

Well, Jie Ling and I, we were once close friend back in primary. I can still remember how she looked like =p
After all these years, i cant believe that she'd changed so much. We were like the most best friend when we were in standard3. But we separated after that because she was in 4B and I was in 4D. I still remember her handwriting are so neat. All her books are always kept systematically and tidily in her school bag. lol

Oh, and we sat at the corner of the class which was placed by the window. Whenever there's a heavy rain, the whole class will be flooded and both of us always are the "lucky ones" to get wet -.- lol

Sigh.. time really does flies, doesn't it? =(

This, is Lik Sin!
Another innocent guy. At least he looks like one. LOL!!! Macam budak ni! lol
Helpful =)
Caring.
What more else? My brain's jammed @.@

But we've got a deal! You remember that right LIK SIN? ;)
Who loses owe 5meals! So you better watch out!
I'll win this for sure! ;)
One more year.

Another Dominant boy/leader.
Jack Yeong! LoL. Look at him.

Another smart one.

* look at him. aww, like small kid *

But he cant drink much. lol. Hey, it's a good thing okay!
So you won't get addicted to alcoholic! ;)

This is Li Hoe! Weeee~~

Another best man =)
But dun make him mad, or else, it's damn scary ><
I've seen once, i wouldn't want to see the second time. lol

We were from the same primary as well. Hmmm.. I dunno. I guess i'll missed his laughter because sometimes it makes me laugh along with him as well =)

And this, is Yong Wei
I still remembered the time when i first hit MOS, he was the one who was leading me most of the time. Sorry Yong Wei! For the trouble. But i really did enjoyed myself that night =)

Excepted after that, i felt guilty for troubling you guys ><
But i'm seriously NOT drunk. I'm just.. spinning? lol

Siew Chee! This was like the ONLY picture that i've took with her =(
Sad right?

What can i say about you? You're a strong girl! =D
Remember the time when we drove back from Tanjung Sepat? During the trip, you, Lik Sin and I, we had our small chats ;)

To be honest, I'm really amazed that we can actually talk something that is so daRn fun! I kinda miss it tho =(

WAI KEI!!!
This was taken when we were in sem 1

And then she become this!!!

AND THEN THIS!!!!!!!!!

Big transformation! lol.
Pretty liao woh!

Another girl who you dont want to mess with ;)
Salute her man! She have brains but she keep staying that she's not smart -.- wth?
Ish Ish Ish!

Beside her, is Jacqueline!

Another hot babe, yeah? ;)

Didnt really know her well. But if you want to know her more, find Wai Kei! HAHAHAHAH!

Saw this soh po here? yeap. That's Tay Yuh Chiaen, aka PIggy! lol

Well, it's been awhile since we've separated. But memories were meant to be kept. So keep on rocking baby!

And as for Nuga, Things do happened along the way. But who cares. That was the past! I enjoyed myself during those time, alot! =) Just wanna say Thank YOU! =)

Danny boy with his citroen issue -.-
I missed your driving =(

You and i know what happened ;)

This is Khai Vern.
I still remembered during sem1, when i first saw you, you pretty much reminded me about MYSELF. lol.

What i used to be like when i was back in form2 and form3. Although i'm not that close to you but.. well, knowing you is way much more better than anything ;)

And Yun Pyng, the most chubby girl i've ever met. lol. Not to mention, she's damn sweet too =) Like a baby. So cute la. I like the way when she talks. Seriously, it's so cute -.- * Okay, dun remind me about i'm les again *

This is WAN HUI!!!

She's also another damn cute one laa! She just joined our group recently. Still trying to get to know her =)

Okay. This is freaking long. I'ma stop here.
As for the rest whom i've left out, sorry i didnt write about you guys but i'll still remembered each and everyone of you.

People like April, Nikki, Emira, Angela, Seng Chye, Adam, Sasi! Gosh! So many!

Whatever Happens, Until we meet again! ♥ ♥ ♥

Great days ahead people!

~GraceKoh~

2010-04-15T13:48:00.002+08:00

When you feel like giving up, why not try to hang on a little longer?
There is always a possibility you can achieved more then what u think!!!

Quoted by Ern Chean

Just another thought which haunt me down to earth..

2010-04-13T13:00:00.003+08:00

I guess many people are trying to put a smiling face huh? But inside, they're breaking apart? Humans.. complicated. But to make the whole situation looks better, they rather put on a mask and tells the world that "I'm okay" =)

Sometimes i wonder am i even worth to live and exist in this world? Because i was never once smart neither am i good at anything. I'm starting to doubt myself... What am i good at? NOTHING.

What are my strengths? NOTHING.
What am i weak at? I can list a whole long list for you if you want me to!

I've look through from all angles, there was nothing that i have talent on. Piano? No, because I've put a stop to it ever since starting of this year. Unless i'm seriously not in the mood, probably i'll play a few pieces which it only goes with my mood. Parents are getting real disappointed with me for stopping the lessons but.. nevermind. Studies? Not really. I have no common sense. If it wasn't for Ken, I would have to retake my subjects.

Oh well.. i'll stop here.

~GraceKoh~

My Fault!!!

2010-04-10T22:47:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I hate myself so badly for hurting people especially when you realized they are keeping things to themselves makes me hate myself even more. When will i learn to talk, act, speak, and behave like a grown up?!

Because this is ALL MY FAULT!

Be thankful

2010-04-09T13:33:00.004+08:00

Hey you wonderful people! =D
I shall start of this post with a story =)

..A story between a couple..

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. he was always there for her. She told her boyfriend,

"If I could only see the world, I will marry you."

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages was taken off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,

"Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected any of that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later he wrote a note to her saying:

"Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine."

============*=============*==================*==================*====

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today....
Before you say an unkind word

:: Think of someone who can't speak.

Before....
you complain about the taste of your food

:: Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Today...
Before you complain about life

:: Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before whining about the distance you drive

:: Think of someone who walks the
same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job

:: Think of the unemployed, the disabled,
and those who wish they had your job.

And when depressing thoughts seem to pull you down

:: Put a smile on your face and think:
you're still alive and still breathing.
BEcause you're far more blessed
than those who were died.

Life is wonderful when you know how you live your life Without regrets!

Cheers people!
Have a great days ahead!

~GraceKoh~

Whatever Happens

2010-04-07T12:50:00.003+08:00

I have seriously NO IDEA why whenever i lied down on my bed, thoughts came popping out from nowhere. No! It's not a good thing! Because this will only caused me to ended up making myself even harder to fall asleep. Screw those thoughts -.-

Especially those feelings...
Urgh.. I'm sorry for being so over reacted but somehow i dun understand why these feelings were so strong. Weird enough. But they are only meant to be feel, not to fulfill because it'll never happen. I'll only sit and watch, while waiting for it to fade away. Keeping my heart close to myself and only MYSELF so that it will not fall into the wrong hand. *that is why i hate feelings because they will only make a fun out of you*

Whatever happens, it will pass anyway.

Signing out..

~GraceKoh~

Time Flies

2010-04-04T21:07:00.003+08:00

Finally getting to spend some time within these few days with YOU in such hours,these were the things that i wished to do most before when we were far apart.

What happened had made me realized that i couldn't NOT HAVE YOU in my life. Because when you're around, i felt protected even though you still bullied me so often, but that is because you care =)

I am honor to be in one of your "favorite" list and lets just hope that this friendship will last til we get married or even whoever goes in to the coffin first. I just hope that we, this friendship will always be there for each other. Our weddings or even our funerals. We will still be there to give each other our blessings =)

PS :: You know I love you ♥

*And you should understand that i dun use this word on people unless i really mean it*

Lets Rock this friendship!!! =D

With ♥♥♥
GraceKoh

♥恩典之路♥

2010-03-17T21:17:00.004+08:00

祢是我的主
引我走正義路

高山或低谷
都是祢在保護.

萬人中唯獨
祢愛我認識我.

永遠不變的應許
這一生都是祝福

一步又一步,
這是恩典之路

祢愛, 祢手,
將我緊緊抓住

一步又一步,
這是盼望之路

祢愛, 祢手,
牽引我走這人生路

Lord, You are my guide, the shepherd of my life
Through the hills and valleys
You’re always by my side

Calling me by name, You’ve chosen me with love
Blessing me abundantly
Your promise will never change

Every step we take, You lead us with Your grace
Your love, Your hand
Will hold us close to You

Every step we take, You lead us with Your grace
Your love, Your hand
Will guide us through the path of grace

==============*==============*==============*===============*========

在生命中，往往我们都想把我们手上的苦难与重担放下。
甚至有时连生命都不想要了。

可是，
耶稣说：：凡劳苦担重担的人可以到我这里来，我就使你们得安息。

夜里多次一个人望着月亮，
那种寒冷又失露的感觉，
在夜里特别清晰。

上帝的声音在夜里安静得听不着。
只有诗歌在脑海里兜圈圈。

人生就是这样，与神的关系不好，就走失了道路。

像羊群走失在某某的山脚上里，
等待牧羊人的到来，
把他们带离这又恐怖又虚空的地方。

人生还有许许多多的功课还等着我们去学习。
一步又一步, 這一生都是祝福。

With ♥ GraceKoh

Way back into LOVE

2010-03-07T19:13:00.004+08:00

After years of running away and heartaches that were only shown during those nights, she has come to a point to take a U-turn back.

Instead of finding the right person, why don't we start off by being the right person?

We're old enough to think and know what is best for us and all of us should take full responsible on what is coming and what is going. If there's a happy opening, there would be an ending too. Whether it's happy ones or sad ones, it will pass you by and it becomes a memory and a blessing. Something which you can learn from and grow from. Come to think of it, I'm quite happy and proud with myself for fulfilling my promise on "being a single". And I have NEVER regretted on being single after all these while =)

I've been reminded by Him, once again, that i'm NOTHING but just a sinner who's not even worth His grace and mercy. But amazingly, he had chosen me to be in His church and to be part of His people to share His glory.

I have never regret on making that first wish on my birthday =)

It came true after the day when my birthday ended 10minutes ago. I was told that i was selfish and arrogant. I looked at myself, and i know i was that selfish and arrogant person for quite awhile. And i'm slipping away slowly, i've knew it all along. It even came to a stage where hatred got in my way.

I'm so sick and tired of seeing those peoples and that place.

How can people that i once loved so dear became people that i HATE the most?
How can a place which i love to run to and cry my heart out became the place where i HATE the most?

I never realized my mistakes til when you said that sentence that caught me off guard, you said::

"I have one word for you. Disappointed. I am so so sooo disappointed with you. After all these years that i've helped you through, this? How old are you now? and etc.."

I admit, i see nothing but only MYSELF, you were right.
I was arrogant and i'm shameless.
I brag about everything that i thought was right and fun.
I was that BAD..

Guard me back to Your embrace so that i'll find comfort in you and learn your ways, LORD. And this is what You told me through your words ::

"Never let go of loyalty and faithfulness.
Tie them around your neck and write them on your heart"

I just hope that i'll stay on like this for as long as possible, or even possible, I'll stay this way FOREVER.

I would not know when is the next fall but this was the first fall that i've experience and trust me, this feelings, this hatred, wasn't the best feelings in the world.

~GraceKoh~

A shoutout to all you wonderful people through just one post ;)

2010-03-02T00:09:00.008+08:00

Hello world.
Yeap, it was passed 12morning and i'm sitting in front of this desktop with my brain, not fully activating. lol.

First of all, I would like to say that i had a blast on my birthday this year. Couldn't have all this happening events without you guys =) *you know who you all really are*
And i'm really really grateful to you guys especially Isaac, my college mates and also the two crazy girl, eleena and candy =D
Oh, and not forgetting Tam Chee Yoong as well =)

Not mentioning that i'm getting older, doh. And all these people tend to celebrate my birthday early. That shows i'm even older. Blowing off the candles which are earlier than the original day? But.. ahhh.. who cares =)
Oh! And it was my first time eating and having so many cakes on different days. I think I'm gonna get fat soon =/
But all of you are just so sweet =)

To be frank, i haven been celebrating my birthday for like.. ever since standard6? Standard 5 was my last. I'm just not getting used to celebrating and people wishing me after such a long period of time =/

A few words for certain people....

Dear Isaac,

I wasn't expecting that you would actually invited me to join your group of friends for your open house because.. well, just wasn't expecting that laa. lol. But celebrating with another girl, which my bd was like.. 5days later? *I dun rmb* =/

I was just sooooo shy, i admit!
But it was very very VERY nice of you to remember my bd ;)
But i didnt make a wish on that cake. hahahhaha. Because it all happened too fast til i dun even have the time to think what should i really wish for =/ and you have to understand it was my first time wishing on a birthday cake. No experienced. lol!

I was just freaking shy! ><
But anyway, thanks alot =)

The foods are wonderful, so is everyone there =)

As for my college mates,

You guys are like the BOM! lol.
Jason Tai, you owe me by lying to me -.- *Doubt that you'll see this anyway* -.-
The whole thing was simple =)

Thank y'all for taking out your precious time to spend the night over at John's. At least i've finally know how "in between" works =)
Looks fun but no gamble for me, thank you. lol.
I wasn't expecting any of that coming and you guys blew me off.

As for Candy and Eleena,

You guys are awesome!

Still crazy as usual. I cant believe i actually missed out all those fun times that we can actually share when we're stil back in secondary! Oh my God? And "thank you", eleena -.- For reminding what i looked like when i was back then because i kinda lost 30% of my memories back in secondary. lol. But the form3 part and crying part. Gosh, come to think of it, I'm really that a cry baby huh? LOL! I seriously didnt realized til you mention about it. But we had fun hanging out and just chill =)

Thanks Candy for leading the way to Sepang.
The beach was beautiful.
I want to go again laaa ><

And as for the rest,

I doubt that you guys wil be seeing this, but for those who wished me, no matter what day, where, through facebook, through phone calls or through sms or etc, I would like to say a hundred "thank you" because.. well.. Com'on! It's my first time celebrating this grand after primary? Of course i appreciate laaa. And if i was quiet or anti-social, don't blame me >< because......

The truth is,
I'm SHY!

I truly appreciate every single thing that you people had did for me. God bless you all ;)

Signing out

Take care people
And great days ahead =)

With Love ♥
~GraceKoh~

Chinese New Year or NO Chinese New Year?

2010-02-16T23:01:00.006+08:00

* Yay! My skin is finally back to normal!!! =D *

Hmmm.. Guess that this year's CNY result wasn't that pleasant after all.Been having a lot in mind to think about and most of all the weather's driving me crazy.But at least I've known that i have more cousins are having MORE kids popping out from nowhere. I dont even freaking know that those kids exist til this chinese new year -.-

Frankly speaking, i would rather stay in NS IF i ever had the chance to celebrate my CNY there. Wait.. Celebrate wouldn't be the exact word, PASS would sound more accurate for it =)

They come and go, like most things in life.
Yet, there are times when one comes and lives forever in your heart ♥

Cheers to you people.
And Happy Chinese New Year 2010

~GraceKoh~

Little Feet!

2010-02-04T20:25:00.003+08:00

I'm bored!
Yeah!
That's one thing that made me decide to update a very short post =)

The title said it all.
As those who knows me well -.-
I know my foot is small and now, i have finally decide to accept the fact tat it IS SMALL -.-
And eventually post about it -.-

To be honest, it's kinda cute though =p

During statistic tutorial, Louis and I kinda got a bored out at the back sit. I don't really know how it all happened but we start wearing each others flip flops =)

And to both of our surprise, my foot was actually smaller than we ever thought of. We had a great laugh there

Okie =)
That's all for today.
Signing out.

~GraceKoh~

Forgiveness

2010-02-02T10:45:00.003+08:00

Ever notice that your words might caused someone on fire or even hurt their feelings without your realization?
If i would have a chance, and IF he/she knows that this is post is dedicated for him/her, I would ask for a hundred forgiveness from her if i ever hurt that particular person.

~GraceKoh~

2010-01-09T15:02:00.006+08:00

Since i'm bored then i shall make a post out of boredom now =)

Yes, it's gonna be a sensitive issue if you're not used to religion.
But you can leave because i'm not forcing you to read this =)

As i was doing my devotion earlier, I've been reminded by God once more that none of us deserves to come before Our Lord Father in confidence. We are weak, frail, sinful, and often broken.

Little in our lives suggests that we might be worthy of an audience with God. And yet, God patiently listens to the mumbles of our unclean lips and becomes active in our prayer.

God, the Holy spirit helps us by cleaning up what we say, sorting it out, and presenting it before the Father. He never throws up His hands in frustration over our failures. He never has "had enough" of our inability to make our lives conform to what he calls us to be.

I thank Him because He not only listens to us and hears us, but he also knows best on HOW and WHEN to answer our prayers. This doesn't means that He will always give us what we ask. If that were the case, he would be less than we'd expect Him to be. Instead, as we pray, the Spirit intercedes, and the Father grants us what we need, based on His knowledge of the entire scope of our lives.

The best thing is that, those who trust in Him, we were part of His Kingdom and His beloved Sons and Daughters

==============*================*================*===============*====

Looking back at those years, come to think of it, i have never actually blame on things that comes around in my life, excluded my parents. Yeah, that was one i need to ask for forgiveness.

Sometimes i'm just so weak because i always complain about them.
But as time flies, when i'm more stable in handling stuff and having my own view, I found that they were right all these while. They're just afraid that their child might fall, especially when having a child like me, no doubt that they'll be more nervous to make any promises.

Guess that i'm one stubborn and childish kid back then, or even now still. lol =p
But hey, at least i've improved =)
(in some ways) xD

Here's a story to share with you readers..........

Here's a man, not until he almost lost his wife, he finally learned to thank God for her. This couple had been married for many years. One evening, she suddenly collapsed from a massive heart attack. There was no pulse when the paramedics arrived. At the hospital, where she had revived somewhat, he was told that only an experimental drug might save her. Many prayed for her and the drug worked. He got his wife back and this is what he said ::

"Although i had always loved and appreciated my wife, yet i seldom made it a point to thank the Lord for her. Isn't it sad commentary that when i'm so near to lose her only i started to prompt thanksgiving. I've give thanks for so many things, except for HER. The last time i actually give thanks for her is when we got married."

Sometimes, it takes frightening storms in our lives to help us see how God blessed us.
Sometimes those who have the most reason to give thanks are the least thankful.
The more we are thankful, the more we discover to be thankful for.
Realizing one blessing in your life will lead to the discovery of many others =)

.......Dear Readers.......

Think of the people in your life and the great blessing they are.
Think of the many ways God has spared you from pain, difficulty, and even death.

Yes, sometimes when people left us, we teared. Especially those whom you've bounded with. But that's when you should try to get up and stand strong on your feet =)

Easy say than done, yeah?
But remember one thing,

Everything happen for a reason and when time passed, it might be a blessing to you and others as well ;)

Lets give thanks together

Great days ahead people..
Thanks for viewing.

~GraceKoh~

Combination brief sharing and confession

2010-01-04T21:23:00.012+08:00

No idea how am i feeling now =/
No idea how am i feeling towards this year, 2010.
It doesn't felt like it.
It felt like i'm still living that's all i can tell.
But i knew that i'm one pain in the ass ><
Sometimes, simple things i cant even get it right. That's such a shitty thing. Then later that have to go all out of control in front of others. What shit is that man? (Not you readers lol)

So much to say but i dunno where to start off from. Sometimes i just wanna get myself drunk and numb myself just for one day before i even get back into reality but drinking those liquor is not going to help much, doesn't it? Instead, taking fresh air and looking out to nature is way much more better than gulping down those liquor, right? By taking a walk during the night might help a lot, for that moment. lol

I don't even know who am i anymore. I felt.. Lost. Kinda. I think I've lost my feelings as well. It's daRn irritating when you have no idea how are you feeling sometimes. Sometimes you don't even know why are you living for. I know my purpose for life but.. sometimes as time goes by, i often asked, "Am i even going to survive to get into heaven?" I'm starting to doubt. Little by little, i'm slipping away from You. WHY?

I remember a pastor told me................

Life is full of Crisis.

But in Crisis, there's a chance.
A chance to learn, success and walk with others.

Come to think of it, life isn't as easy as i thought. Often enough, we look back into the passed but not the future. Often we said....

" I used to be like that"
" I used to this.............."
" I used to that..........."

So many USED..

What if the world ends tomorrow?
Am i even going to be in Your “Book of Life"?

At this moment, i really doubt.
Please held me back to your embrace.
I admit that i'm afraid that i'm not one of your daughter who can share your kingdom.
I'm afraid of the heat of the HELL will burn me for eternity.

Lord, please held me back to your embrace.

===============*=============*================*==================*===

Who Am I - Casting Crowns

PS:: If you're reading this, dear reader, do try to listen to it through YouTube or wherever you wanted too. Because it meant alot.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart.

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

============*==============*==============*================*=========

We were so tiny.
Even tiny than the sand.
But still, You love US more than you love your angels.

每一个失败是成功的机会
Every failure is a chance of success

只有怕的人才往后看
Only those who are afraid will look backwards.

每一个痛苦都是能力的从生，别人的祝福与品格的塑造
Every pain that we been through in Our lifes gives us the ability to raise again, become other people's blessings and character shaping ourselves into a better person.

痛苦是过去了，可是它却留下美好的结局
When the pain is gone, it left with a beautiful ending

Hoping that i would become a better person because i'm already losing myself and i'm sorry to those who i've hurt through my words without my realization.

Especially Jason Tam Chee Yoong and Lee Chin Gen. You guys were more than friends to me and i really love both of ya, same way goes to Soo Teng but not as much as both of ya. I'm not sure how long this friendship will last because it seems like everyone's going to break up soon. But what we all could do NOW, is treasure the time that is left for us.

Here is my confession to the both of ya, I know i've done a lot of wrong and i'm one annoying brat which sometimes annoyed the hell out of you guys. You guys had been very patience towards me even though i'm such a monkey at times and i'm such an asshole -.-

I'm loud and i'm rough but you guys still accept me
I'm stupid and stubborn but you guys still accept me
I'm sometimes inpolite(well.. many all the time) but you guys still accept me

I'm sometimes brainless but you guys still accept me

So many more but I couldn't name out. As long both of ya know what i'm trying to say and those times we've been together, what i've said and done that hurt both of ya, i'm truly sorry.

I apologize

You guys were like my small little family that i couldn't live without, including Soo Teng. I'm not sure what will come next after this whole foundation year comes to an end but we'll just look at how God's plan goes.

As for Gen, I'm not sure about Jason but i'll be here with you when mummy leave. I'll be your ears and everything. I would do anything to keep you alive(not the really-go-die meaning la -.-)
Pump you up, i guess. And i know i suck at it ><>I know i've hurt you TOO MANY times til you felt numb but you have to understand that sometimes, i really am brainless so you should point out whenever if my words burns you. Don't be afraid to tell me =)
After all, we're brother and sister right? ;)
lol

So many more but.. i guess i'll stop here because blog is kinda public. So.. that's all for today =)

Toodles

Thank You for reading

Great days ahead ppl..

~GraceKoh~

Jam packed december, EVER!

2009-12-22T12:03:00.025+08:00

Hello world =)

♥ Favourite Photo for the day♥
My lovely small family

I know I've abandon my blog for quite awhile.

Well, I'm not really an active blogger, to be honest ><
I only blog when there's something i wanna share to people. And blogging seems like the best solution to throw all my point of view out so that everyone can read it =)

Since I have the time now, i shall, for once, blog about what I've did during the passed few days or one month. So, i guess it's gonna be a long post? Hmmm.. =/

In an blink of an eye, 2009 is soon gonna be over. I was so not prepared for next year but.. ahh.. everyday does felt the same. So what difference will it make if tomorrow 's 2010? Except that we're becoming older. lol..

I have to say, this year's december is jam packed with all kinds of activities.
Well, not that my passed december weren't busy, just that THIS, among all the years that I've lived, is the most packed. I was not at home almost EVERY single day ever since semester break started (27november2009) At least today i am because tomorrow i'm going out again xD so must be a good girl and help mum with some house chores =D

Hmmm.. so much to do yet so little time.

First of all, we went MOS.

That was directly on the night that our finals ended. I have to say, it was a AWESOME night! =D

I know I look like a drunk girl out there ><
I admit, i drank a little too much but man, it will be my first and last, OF course i wanna enjoy it to the fullest! How could i let that oppurtunity slip away just like that, right? But i know what i'm doing okay -.-

MOS's dancefloor was so jam packed. I dun even know how did we squeezed in there but i was more than grateful enough bcoz the boys were protective enough to protect the girls. I was actually quite impressed by that. lol..Not mentioning i was a burden for all of them ><

Sorry, my brothers and i really appreciate what you guys had done for me. I'm perfectly fine actually, just that.. i'm kinda out of my head, i just wanna drink! ><

Puke quite a few times when we're around the several places. Thank God i didnt puke INSIDE the pyramid even though it's ald 5am in the morning. I have to say, first time in my life, i have never ever seen pyramid as empty as an abandon condo. lol.. But i did puke infront of the car park where we were suppose to pay our ticket, while we were waiting for Ken and Jason to walk over since Jack forgotten to give Yong Wei the ticket. I couldnt rmb how many times i've puked but i rmb there was a CCTV infront. lol.. On the way to fetch Jack, puke a little again when he was getting into the car. lol. That is so embarrassing -.- With 5ppl waiting and watching you puke, how embarrass can that be?!

Not forgetting that i was in a spinning world for almost a week only i was fully recovered.

Second outing was going to Zoo Negara!

lol.. I know it's a childish act -.- but thank God, Gen, Soo Teng, Chee Yoong and Lik Sin are nice enough to take out their time and accompany me to go to places like that =)

♥ Huggies to them!♥

I was desperate to go see crocodiles! Because i think they're AWESOME! =D

But in the end, it was quite a disappointment tho. There were more tortoises and cows -.-

Jason(Chee Yoong) said that he can even just go back his kampung and look at those animals. lol. Which.. i kinda agree on that with him.

Gen Gen a.k.a Daddy♥
Soo Teng a.k.a Mummy♥

Small kid! Dont look ><

♥Happy Family♥

Kor Kor and Mei Mei =D

PS:: He always bully me =(

I got scolded by Lik Sin =(
Well.. actually it's just a ramdom shot =)

*I cant seems to update the rest of the pictures and i dunno why, only these =( *

After dropping Lik Sin back home, Four of us, Gen Gen, Teng Teng, Jason and me, went to "Look Out Point". It was my first time up there. Not too bad =)

All of us haven eat our breakfast and lunch ever since morning. Soo Teng was too hungry til she had a bad tummy ache ><
My guess is that she's having gastric ><
but whatever it is, Hopefully it'll get better ><

Oh yeah! This part >< I'll never ever forget.

On our way to "Look Out Point", I kinda have a small conflict with Gen. Basically, the main problem is with me -.- I was annoying shit and I think i annoyed the hell out of him which after that, I keep telling myself, "You're such a bitch! Cant you just keep your mouth shut for one freaking day?!"

My mind is screaming inside, that sentence kept repeating over and over again. I can feel the heat of my cheeks raising, maybe i'm blushing ><><

I thought we were posing. but i didnt know those two are ald standing by to bully me!

See! -.-
What did i tell you. zzz Play hide and seek =DNo, I am NOT going to smack his ass -.-

*bluek!* >< Smelly!
I wonder why Daddy and Mummy didnt smell anything

That night, 4of us ate what 6people can eat. Gen and Soo Teng even have ice-cream banana for dessert! We were so full and round. lol.. okay -.- Maybe not the round part. Sounded so wrong.

Monkeys

Took a small walk after that and was taking pictures like crazy people but hell! It was fun! =D hahaha!

Act cute
But failed, badly! Bahahaha!

No! I am NOT holding his hand! -.-

And we went Genting as well. But this time, it's a larger group. Gosh... I'm so lazy to type further more -.-
Might as well just let the pictures do the talking. So many more but i guess i'll just stop here =)

John And Jie Ling ♥

Woot!
Heavy Eye begs! @.@

Daddy Mummy again!!! =D Jack and Sean
I have no idea what i'm doing.
Jason's such a poser -.-Stupid expression -.-Jason with Bi Bi♥ =DMummy with BiBi ♥ =D Screw Nammy for making me pregnant! xD
hahaha..Trying to stuck my head into the dinosaur's ass -.-

During night time, four of Us, the usual, Daddy mummy son and daughter went downhill to one of the mamak to makan dinner. We didnt join the rest due to the prize of the food at First World were too expensive ><

The rest went back to the hotel after finishing up their dinner while four of us have to drag ourself with the world most heaviest tummy back uphill. Well, at least that's how i felt about my own tummy. lol. It felt like months only we've finally reached even though it's such a short distance. We then sat by the roadside while enjoyed the wind. Pity Jason because he had to walk all the way back to the hotel to pass the key to Li Hoe and he came all way down again after a few minutes.. Or maybe half an hour? I dunno. I got carried away by the touch of wind which was hitting on my cheeks with such flawless move. It felt as wonderful as someone's beside you and whisper in your ears til you giggles and telling you that they got the ability to take all your thoughts and sorrows away. Okay -.- this is too much.

But nevermind la =)
Ah pek like him get to exercise aso good de ;)

============*===========*===============*===========*=============*==

Parents begger::

Please two handsome Sir, my wife's suffering from the cold due to this weather and she doesnt has a shoe which can keep her warm. Would you be so kind to give us some money to buy her a pair of shoe?

Jason Tai :: Hmmm.. what do you think about it nammy?
Should we?
Cheng Nam :: Haih.. no life -.-

Children begger::

Please please Sir. Our mum really need a pair of shoes desperately. Would you be so kind to just give a little of your money.

Grace whispering to Jason::
Stop smiling, you dummy!
Or else they'll think that we're lying to them! -.-
Cant you see that black shirt dude's muscle? Or fats? =/
He can even crush us into dust with one of his finger -.-

==========*=============*==============*===============*=============

I know it's a lame story line, But i couldnt think of any because i'm daRn sleepy!

Leaving the Genting

Til then. Thanks for reading =)

Great days ahead people! ♥♥♥

~GraceKoh~

The journey begins

2009-12-07T21:38:00.007+08:00

It's weird that how fast time flies.
And there she goes...
Her new journey begins......

She was my teacher.
She's beautiful
She's intelligent
She's tough
She's everything that I wanted to have a person like her in my life.
If i am in her age and IF i'm a guy, I would definitely kill to have her as my wife.

Without her, I dont think i would be having my own thoughts and answers to all my questions when i was having, back then.

She was like my guardian angel who is constantly there to remind me on where i'm standing now and then. She look at me on how i grow ever since when i'm still in Form1. She reminded me of how i used to be and who am i when i was back then.

I've seen a great deal in myself. She had shown me many things that i never thought of and nurture me like a mother do even though she's that young(which is only 20plus)

Sometimes i even wish that she's my mum. lol.. xD
Because i knew that, if she really is, she'll be guiding me throughout my life and i would have more wisdom in making the right choice in my everyday life.

But now she has her own life to deal with.
Her new journey starts here and now. I'm gonna miss her miserably.
Her single life.
When she still has the time for us..

I may not know all her histories but after all these years of knowing her, she's not an easy leg to get and that's what i like about her. She's a lady-in-waiting. That shows a great testimony to all the girls out there.

Challenging, would be the best word to describe her ;)

Cheers to you, Yien Fang and Choon Chong. I'll always remember you both in my prayers and thanks for everything that you've done for me.

~GraceKoh~

Indescribable

2009-12-02T14:57:00.005+08:00

Funny enough. I have no idea how time flies after getting drunk the other day. As though my brain cells are gradually dying. I have no sense on everything. I cant hardly remember a thing, including things that i've just said or did for the passed few seconds. I need at least a few seconds to disgust what others had just said but words that come out from my mouth, i hardly know what i'm saying til the sentence are fully out after a few seconds. How bad can that be? It's like a 100years old old lady's brain? I think they can even think better than me!

It felt like as though this reality world is just a dream that i'm waiting on to wake up.

Here's a story of a girl.........

As she lied on her bed the other night, a rush of emotions took over her.
If you've seen the movie "new moon", the scene where Bella's screaming in pain on her bed,
Yes. That's how she felt that night except that she's not screaming, duh! -.-

It was so dreadful.

Those emotions are so indescribable. They are like waterfalls that couldn't be stop.

A rush of.....

Frustration...
Loneliness........
Annoyed...........
Anger.................
Sadness................
Sorrow....................
Painfulness................

...and more to come. One by one, Each of them flush in like there's nothing that can be done to stop them. Hit her hard on the face.

It's funny that this happened but it's weird.
She cuddled up herself like a prawn on her bed to get some warm and comfort. Not knowing that tears suddenly started to will up against her closed eyes.
She felt like smacking and hitting everything that comes in her way. Scream, but come to think of it, it look pretty much like some psycho ppl -.- no? lol

Every night, weird dreams haunted her for no reason.

Ridiculous dreams...
Childish dreams.........
Romantic dreams.........
Scary dreams.................
Separating dreams..........

Gosh? How hard is it to get a good night sleep?
It's torturing! Damn!

Save her, please? Any body?

~GraceKoh~

Love

2009-11-15T00:20:00.005+08:00

" Love is patient, Love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth,
It always protects,
Always trust,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres.

Love never fails."

Just having a few thoughts on this after hearing it from somewhere. And this is my sharing for the day =)

Many times, we all thought that we know what "LoVe" means.

"Love is something that we feel for each other"
"Love is something that cant be said with words."
"It's just a rush of emotions that you cant define what it means but it's just there and so forward" ....................................

So many people with different kind of definition for the word "LOVE"

When you're with someone, no matter what age we were in, we tend to say the word " I LOVE YOU" to another person, don't we? Especially when we're in a relationship status. At that moment, it feels right because at that time, we thought that we know what love means and we say to another person with passion.

But what if things turn out ugly, will we still be telling that person that we love them?
What if they back stab us from the back til we feel like falling apart, will we still love them?

Sometimes, we don't even know what is the real meaning of love and this is when it gets complicated. Without love, we're nothing.

Lets take a look at this.

Love = Sex = Pleasure

This is what people nowadays are thinking. I'm not sure about Malaysian but it's all around America. After having a good think about it, i realized that when we said the word "I LOVE YOU", in real, it's just so empty and shallow.

So, what does God have to say for love?

Lay down your life for others

By making a commitment/promise to each other, it doesn't mean that we have to use our body as a symbol to do so. Couples can make their promise to each other by making a commitment to protect each others purity. It's a way that we tell each other that............

"I want the best for you and I'm going to protect your purity"

This is how you show a person that you love them. But what is this gonna do with "lay down your life for others"? It means that you're putting the person that you love in the first place and putting your needs aside. True love is selfless.

Often, i thought that... I know how to love. Sacrifice for one and let them come first is a way of showing them that i love them. But somehow, i lose control and let myself get overboard at times and that is when people never return the favor by showing a little appreciation and I got hurt. It may sounds rather stupid and weak but that is who i am and i couldn't help it by taking things seriously, especially when it comes to people that i really want to build a relationship. It doesn't have to be a boy girl relationship, it can also stands for family and friendships.

But what I'm really trying to say is that.. I realized that, I'm using MY way to love people instead of what God had thought us what love is all about and how to love others. I thought I'm doing the right way, but i was wrong. So, so wrong. And that's the reason why I get hurt so easily and this is all because of my behavior which I'm only thinking about myself and MY WAY of loving others. I always thought about What can I do for others to make them happy so i wouldn't offend them and so forward.

I'm so selfish. I didn't use LOVE in the correct way. When i used it in the wrong way, I felt unsatisfied and worst come to worst, jealousy took over me. Trust me, jealousy is a scary thing. But i was once again reminded by God that, I cant do this MY way because this will leads to nowhere but to Satan. Once again, I thanked Him. There's so much that he'd gave me in life, but never once, i would know how to appreciate it. Maybe at times, I do. But often, i forget.

That is why, there are so many reasons for us to love each other because Jesus Christ had show it to us on the cross. This is what i had for the day. I'm off to hit the sacks =)

Great days ahead people =)
Good Night..

~GraceKoh~

They Left

2009-11-09T17:11:00.003+08:00

Eventually people left again, don't they? =)

Comes and Go.

That is what life is all about, wasn't it?

~GraceKoh~

I care!!!

2009-11-07T15:45:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry because you have to look at me like this,
but i couldn't help myself!!
I never know it will come out,
But it did!

Don't do it. Please!!!

Please, i beg you?!

I dont want you to lose yourself nor neither I don't want you to regret.

I'll be right here if you ever need me, ANYTIME!!!

I reacted like this because I CARE!!!
I CARE, FOR CHRIST SAKE!!!
Just don't do it!!!

*You know who you are, and i hope you'll see this too*

Realize

2009-10-24T15:26:00.004+08:00

When things went well, we enjoyed and we never ever give thanks for what we have. Do we?
But when things don't go our way, we complain.

How izit that fair?

When you started to lose those who you love most, probably they died or they left, we complain and everything around us seems unfair. We would blame people, or even God for what had happened in our lifes.

"Why Why WHY? Why is this happening to me?" [we might ask]

Earlier, I've heard people sharing about how unfair is their life, for what they had been through, for what they have lost. I started thinking about myself too.

"Did I lose anything?"

But there's nothing much that i wanted to complain about. My course and life is going as well as the way it is. And I'm happy at where i am now.

People around me comes and go.
I was numb by the fact of that.
If they choose to leave, I couldn't hold them back, even tho how much i wanted too.

One is not to control anyone's life

but I've always believe that God will prepare better things for me =)

Everything happens for a reason.
What I've been through, I admit, sometimes i do complain but I'll try my best to forget about it.

Tears were the ones that can help me to feel better and God's word was my only medicine that heals my wound.

Yes, I wouldn't deny that the painful journeys are hard but what I'm trying to say is that, these journeys that we've been through might be hurtful and it's unfair for us to handle it but by the end of the day, it would actually be a blessing towards others and yourself =)

Maybe things aren't as bad as we think of. Okay~ What if you might ask me a question like..

"How would you know? Because my dad/mum died! How is that fair?"

If we live, one day we might die too as well.
We just never know when will that happen. After all, we are all humans and living creatures =) No?
That is why we have to open our eyes and walk on path that are waiting for us now and then with faith in our hearts. Learn to bless those who had hurt you =)

Always be prepare, because you never know what will happen tomorrow.

A verse that I've learn from, during this week.

"He helps us in all our troubles, so that we are able to help others who have all kinds of troubles, using the same help that we ourselves have received from God. Just as we have a share in Christ's many sufferings, so also through Christ we share in God's great help. If we suffer, it is for your help and salvation; if we are helped, then you too are helped and given the strength to endure with patience the same sufferings that we also endure. So, our hope in you is never shaken; we know that just as you share in our sufferings, you also share in the help we receive."

~2corinthians1:4-7~

[It's okay if you dun understand =)]

I've learn that.....

In our everyday life, we're always learning and growing, no matter at what age we are.
By then, you'll discover that we are all so limited.
Some people might have what you don't have, and vice verse.

And by walking together with God through your difficulties, you would know the real meaning of the joy and peace =)

Yeah, this post might be a little hard to understand but.. but... oh nevermind -.-

Great days ahead people =)

~GraceKoh~

*Thanks for being my friend, grandpa pig. I hope this would last because eventually people will leave again, till then =) *

Pain in the Ass

2009-10-13T18:48:00.003+08:00

Jack and Lizzie

One word:: AWwwww~

Saw this small cute little thing?

Well, yes!

She's one pain in the ass. Taking care of her is way harder than taking care of a baby. At least babies cries. But this dog.. Gosh, she bites, hard. She even poop everywhere around the house's corner -.-

Sometimes, she can be the most adorable thing in the world but most of the time, she's one pain in the ass -.-

Everyday, I have to clean her shits and her pees -.-
Even in the middle of the night, she will wake me up just to open the door for her to go out and pee or either she wants to come in to sleep with me. I really need my sleep!!!

She just LOVEESSS to bite me. It's a way of her playing.

But damn!
It hurts and it even bleeds!!!

Tell her to "sit" she'll come all the way jumping on you -.- then soon, start biting my long pants off

And when she screams, Gosh.. Your ears are gone case. lol..

Okay, that's all for a short updates to keep my dead blog alive =)

Great days ahead ppl =)

~GraceKoh~

Sunshine

2009-10-04T17:37:00.007+08:00

I've met my SUNSHINE!!!
She's like the only thing that I have my eyes on

And she will always be ;)

I met her when I was doing my project for Human Communication yesterday.
My eyes couldn't resist her adoration when i first met her especially when it all came to the end of the day, it was even harder for me to resist her.

She was like an angel to me =)

Well.. it all started by feeding the dogs at SPCA. She was in one of the cage with her buddy, a male actually. lol.. they are close friends *(at least that's what the lady over there told me) I was so unsure whether should i buy her in. But i wanted too!!

So in the end, I've only booked her because i dun have enough money, besides, my parents aren't here so i'm not allowed to take back home even tho i have the money. Lucky enough for me, my parents approved and my mum seems to like her a lot, so does she ;)

Ahh.. at least things are going well.. And I thank God for that.

And now.......

Ladies and Gentlemen..
I give you....

Lizzie

And her buddy

Hmmm.. she even know how to post. lol..

~GraceKoh~

When I look at you

2009-09-26T15:05:00.004+08:00

Everyone needs inspiration,
Everyone needs a soul.

When the waves are flooding the shore,
I can't find my way back home.

And that's when I look at you

Little changes had been going around and sometimes.. it's just hard to keep things on track like it used to be as before.

No doubt that people changed.

I wouldn't deny that because even me, myself, changed. Especially during holidays, the changes were big enough to break up a team. lol..

Ever felt unsatisfied when you were alone in thoughts? Well, i do.

Ever since this year, I'm always left unsatisfied and i ALWAYS wanted to do something out of something else. I want to live my life and make something out of it instead of wasting any time.

Why is this happening to me?
For 18years, I've never ever felt like this.

It just somehow,
I was easily annoyed?
I get fed-up easily when I'm not learning things.
I would get angry at people who never keep their promises and not being responsible enough to meant what they've said.

As the anger grows inside me, i would choose to ignore that person.
*This is just so rare that i would actually get angry at people*

I know it's a childish act but.. Sometimes, I just couldn't help it because it just hurts too much for seeing their faces especially when they're staring at you with those gorgeous eyes which melts you away even though they don't even know what they've done.

If you know that you couldn't keep your promise, then DON'T bother promising anyone unless you know that you CAN keep it!!!

Often enough I blame myself for getting angry and over-react at things that isn't that important from other people's point of view. I tried to tell myself that the others would never care about all this small matter, only I'm the foolish one who puts too much hopes on them that's why it would caused this much of a break down.

You're dumB..........when I look at you.
You're beautiful......... when I look at you.
You're irresistible..........when I look at you.
You're like a vision.........when I look at you.
You're hurting me.........when I look at you.
You're like a dream to me.........when I look at you.
You're tearing me apart.........when I look at you.
You're making me confuse.........when I look at you.

And there's no guarantee that this life is easy,
But I've gotta try.

*PS:: This post wasn't related or dedicated to anyone so don't start guessing who's the people/person and I'm perfectly fine. Just letting out my thoughts and emotions which makes me feel better =)

Thanks for reading..

Great days ahead people..
Cheers~!!!

~GraceKoh~

Time is always running out....

2009-09-25T18:11:00.003+08:00

Sigh.. guess the title explains it all.

I've just not been doing anything lately. Well.. maybe a little, but this semester, I hardly settle down and study. There's been so many holidays. Especially most holidays were on Mondays -.-
And this caused me to even felt lazier =(

Journals, assignments, presentations, quiz, test and more to come, are all waiting for me to keep them update and complete. Some even have to be done by next week and i've yet prepare neither of them. I'm doomed~!!!!

At least I've spend more time with a group of friends rather than stuck at home, waiting for time to pass and rot. They've been very reliable but often bully me when we're off to swimming =(

Nevertheless, gosh! I'm in desperate in need for good night sleep? I'm always dreaming about so many stuff every single day and often woke up in the middle of the night for at least 10times, maximum. When I'm in class, I'm already half dragging myself. It had last for at least one week and I think I'm going insane soon?

Sometimes i even felt like I'm half asleep and half awake in the middle of the night.
How suffer can it be when you don't have enough sleep??

It gives me HELL!!!

Oh, and i think I'll be getting gastric real soon ><
I've been skipping breakfast often lately and often until 2-3pm only I'll have my brunch. It's not that I don't wanna to eat, human, it's just that my class are always SOO packed and there's always not enough time especially when my next class are continuously joined. Until by the time i had food in front of me, I have to constantly remind myself to eat carefully and chew instead of swallowing the whole plate like a monster. Sigh..

I'm off to shower. Weather's killing me.

Great days ahead people..

Cheers~!!!

~GraceKoh~

Already Gone...

2009-09-08T17:31:00.004+08:00

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories,
They're haunted.

We were always meant to say goodbye....

Even with our fists held high,
It never would have worked out right.

We were never meant for do or die...

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now

But..I can't stop...

I want you to know...
It doesn't matter where we take this road,
Someone's gotta go

And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So..... I'm already gone.

Looking at you makes it harder,
But I know that you'll find another.
That doesn't always make you wanna cry.

It started with the perfect conversation then

I could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you

So...I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone...

There's no moving on
So.........

I'm already gone =)

~GraceKoh~

Lucky enough?

2009-08-23T16:10:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, i just mentioned that my Bag got stolen.
Spent the whole night crying off and my eyes are swollen -.- lol..

And of course i did pray!!! Hard.. hahaha..

Lucky enough, this morning, when my church service was bout to end, i received a call from Adrian, who's calling from Metropolitan College. He asked me bout whether is there any other "Grace" at our foundation course and i dun recall any "Grace" girl i known in our college, well, at least not in our batch that is.

Adrian started off saying that there's this man bought a bag along with him and it belongs to some girl named "Grace" My eyes twinkled. So, he started off saying that there's a diary inside and a diary which wrote alot of craps in it -.- which he obviously knew it's my diary and purposely talking crap some more -.-

After asking for further info bout what's inside the bag, i'm 100% sure that IT'S MY BAG!!!

The man told me that he founded my bag, dumped at some hokien industri area or smtg. Think it's some eating stuff place. Yeah.. it was down klang. He was kind enough to pick it up and browse through my stuff and somehow went online to check up for some further information which soon connected to my college and he dropped by in the morning to handle in the bag.

I had never felt so lucky and relief in my whole life. Praise the Lord that He listened to my prayers =)

Everything was safe and sound except that my purse was missing. Which that means all my money and IC, license, ATM card all gone. But who cares anyway. Can make a new ones! As long my RM260 sun glasses, Jason's favourite new glasses and Shi Yang's(my bestie) necklace is back and oh.. My fav book, Breaking Dawn is back and all my other stuff.. i'm more than happy enough =D

But.. i might have to go through all those application for new license and IC stuff =(
which is kinda a troublesome thing to do. Sigh..

I cant drive around anymore, unless i'm planning to drive illegally, again -.-
Without the license and IC, parents wouldnt allow me to drive around as open as i wanted too. Well.. at least that's what my Dad thinks, im not quite sure about my mum though i knew she wishes that i can be the one driving her around and not the other way round. lol..

There goes another few cash for the car service and everything. Though we did claim insurance for our car's side mirrors but dad said it's not worth to ask them to pay for it bcoz it might double the payment towards the insurance company or smtg. ahh~ doesn't matter =)

My bag is back and that's wat really matters =)

Back to College tomorrow. Guess i'll be seeing familiar faces again and not forgetting to check out the new intake ppl ;)

missed you guys

*Thank You for staying beside me and give me a hug when i need you there, Joseph. And being supportive enough when the incident occur =) *

~GraceKoh~

Fire Burning..

2009-08-22T20:56:00.004+08:00

This post doesn't refer to anyone. Just SOMEONE who i do not know.

Everything went well today, until when my mum's car (which is not known as MY car bcoz my parents wouldnt allow me to have it) window got knock down by some NOBODY and there goes my bag and MY EVERYTHING!!!

I just drop off my bag in the car for nearly only 10minutes +/- and i went up to the church hall so that i won't have to carry any heavy stuff when mum gets down. Soon, I received my mum's call. Telling me that the car's window had been knocked down and my bag was missing. I dun believe and i was actually smiling while i slowly take my time down the stairs from the hall. Yeah -.- i know it sounds stupid. Soon, seeing many ppl helping my mum out, cleaning the glasses of the broken window and i started running towards the car. Shouting repeatedly "Oh My God!"

My beg was gone, so were all my stuffs in the bag.

Among all days, why today?

Which is the ONLY day that i actually bring bag to church with stuffs that are my favourite.

1. My 5years old beg
2. My 6years old pencil case
3. My purse
4. Bloody 20+ bucks

(okay.. dun laugh -.- altho it's only 20+ but Gosh.. i used two weeks without any allowance from my dad to save those okay!!!)

5. My fav bottle
6. My fav jacket
7. My fav Breaking Dawn book, my heart ache miserably for that book -.-

8. IC
9. License
(which i just recently got it like.. one month ago. Bloody. now have to drive illegally, again -.-)
10. ATM card
11. Pictures
12. bla bla bla..

What is wrong with these ppl man?! So desperate for money? sigh..

Why dun they just get a life and earn their own money. Gosh..

If i have the chance to find where are they. I dun care they even take a parang or watever. I'll use all my strength to run towards wherever they are and snatch my bag back!!!
I just wan my bag and stuff back so desperately ><

You wan my money?
Take it!!!
I just wan my daMn stuff back!!!!

Just Give me back!!!!!

~GraceKoh~

R.I.P Cik Lai

2009-08-19T17:32:00.006+08:00

A picture of Cik Chai
~ credits to YenMei =) ~

I was in a School Fair this morning, helping out Adrian, a counsellor from my college. And all of a sudden, a message came in. It was from Bryan, a junior of mine from SMK USJ12.

In the message, he asked me bout do i know Cik Chai. So.. of course i said "yeah", with a smiley face on and i actually tease a lil. I felt funny after sending out the msg tho. Questions came popping out...

Why is Bryan texting me early in the morning?
Shouldnt he be in school?
Wassup suddenly mentioning bout Cik Chai? hmmmm...

And there it was. The second text came in.

"She passed away due to influenza H1N1 "

I sat there beside Adrian, start mumbling and soon became shouting "oh my god Oh My God.." i think i said it four time with increasing sound tone. I started pulling my hair.

What in the World???!!!
How can this be??
No Noo Nooo.. =(

I almost started tearing there. I sat there in silence. Adrian was kind enough to give me my own space to think things off, i realized. lol. At least he just asked once and that's it. Instead of keep bugging "Are you okay?" lol.. it's sometimes annoying if ppl keep asking you that sentence too much -.-

Continue with the School Fair and my lift was over by noon. After lunch, i was back in my room again, chilling. Emotions shaking a lil..

Spotted, a bulletin on the floor. Read it. Mentioning bout Death.

Life is weak.
Once it's gone, it's gone for good.
Everyone will have their birthdays and someday.. eventually will have the end of their days.
Some people are afraid of death and they try to hide from it.
But somehow.. death will come to them, no matter how.

The Bible tells us...

"Everyone must die once, and after that be judged by God."
~Hebrews9:27~

If it's meant to be,
No matter how hard you tried to hide from it,
It will never go away.
Be brave to face it,
Try to find a way where you'll solve the judgement later on after you die.

We know that after death,
Everything will turn into memory..
Only His word and promises will stay with us.
Nothing will last..
Heaven,
is where we'll meet again =)

Meanwhile, Pn Yek, my most most most favourite teacher is now under quarantine because her desk was next to Cik Chai. God.. i pray that she'll be alright. If not.. i'll go insane bcoz she's like the best teacher that i've known and she knows me well enough. Sigh..

=========*==============*==============*============*================

Thank You.....

Thank You Cik Chai, for being patient with us. You've been a great teacher and we'll never forget the things that you've done for us.

Thank You, for listening to my ramble. We manage to chat a lil back in the olden days.
Talks, just between You and Me =)
Flashing back.. I laughed at myself for thinking how childish i was back then.
Just a girl who's living in her fantasy world =)

Thank You, for educating me. Yes, we've all been a jerk back then in secondary.
We laughed and teased at you in some ways, but i've always look up to you =)
Things changed after we manage to have that talk.

Thank You, for asking my mum and tell her to take good care of me.
And my mum said.. it's a lost to have a teacher like you...
May we meet again back in Heaven =)

Cheers to you, Cik Chai~!!! =)
R.I.P

~GraceKoh~

Life

2009-08-15T22:28:00.006+08:00

Life,

As you see through life
You will see that there is so much more that we dun understand...
And the only thing we really know is......

Things don't always go the way we planned...

Lead us to a place,
Guide us with your Grace.
To a place where we'll be safe..

I pray that you'll be our eyes...
And watch us where we go........
Help us to be wise.........................
In times when we don't know........

Let this be our prayer..
When we lose our way....
Guide us back to the the path that you wan us to stay..

I pray we'll find your light..
And hold it in our hearts.......
When stars go out each night...
Eternal light will shine..................

Let this be our prayer
When we lose our way,
Somehow we'll know which place is the safest place to stay =)

Just a random post which doesnt mean anything. Well.. maybe a lil.. =)

I'm out..

Cheers~!!! =)

~GraceKoh~

Edit:: I finally get to drive my dad's Vios for the first time.
It was awesome~!!! =D

G.I.Joe was awesome!!!

2009-08-14T23:53:00.003+08:00

Went for G.I.Joe movie with Gen and Jason after finishing my working hours over at college, yesterday that is. Not to admit that it was kinda scary walking around without wearing a mask on when H1N1 is so hot on the news nowadays. Can die anytime

ANYWAY.. the movie wasnt that bad tho. =)
It was awesome~!!! Not to say the best la.. but it's good =)

So humans.. it's worth the money to go watch that movie! =) lol..

But a lil too overwhelming. The gadgets are awesome but sadly it doesnt exist in our world =( ohh well.. just a random updates bout a movie bcoz this blog is real dead -.- doubt that anyone will read this anyway.

Currently having Sem break and yeah.. it's daRn bored. Holidays are suppose to be FUN!!! But i've gotta admit. The first week was bored like shit -.-

Yawn.. okay.

Short and Sweet =)
I'ma hit the sack. Nitez ppl..

Great days ahead..

Cheers~!!!

~GraceKoh~

Bummed out

2009-07-25T18:34:00.000+08:00

Yawn..I'm freaking tired but i couldn't sleep now because if i sleep now, im never gonna be able to sleep tonight~!!! =(

Sigh.. how good is it if im like some people who can just sleep during the afternoons and can still sleep at night. Used to be that kinda person, but sadly im not one now anymore -.-

Not knowing What To Do.. might as well just choose to update my blog =)

Anyway, went Nilai Inti College with piggie, daniel and ian today. Man, it was a long day. Thank God we drove over if not we'll be stuck there till God knows when. We were hanging around there, not til one hour, we took off. lol.. Some 40mins ride turn out to be less-than-an-hour-of-visitting. (forgive me, i dunno how to put it in sentence) -.- lol..

set to go

look at both of them man.. solid

Basically, it's just boring and there's nothing much we can to do. At last, we decided to hit somewhere else. Darn la.. disappointed man. No chicks around nilai inti -.- this is what dan and ian said..

on the way back to the car
tooken by Iantooken by Grace
~yeap.. we're the two stalker at the back of those two xD~

Drove to sunway later on and 3 of us accompany piggie on her shopping spree. LoL.. we just followed and watched her trying on some dresses, shoes, belts and etc. Seriously, now i finally know how A GIRL really shops. It's insane man! But it's worth the ride and all =)

You know.. when you get to look at hot babes trying on some breath-taking dresses or clothes, why wouldn't you feel worth it? LoL.. no? ;)

I just hope Ian and daniel wont go all work out tonight after looking at how breath taking piggie was today by trying on those gorgeous dresses etc.. lol..

College life is not that bad after all.. =)
At least it's better compare to secondary =)

Just cherish whatever there is that we have right now, because we'll never know how things will turn out later on =)

Lastly, just some pictures to share bout during the passed few weeks..

This is the life when you're happy hanging out with your friends
=D

i think this pic was taken by nuga if im not mistaken
ian was stuck in the middle and daniel and i are squeezing him to death. lol..
we(dan and i) were both "fighting".. in some ways..LoL

yup.. you can see how sufferring his face was LoL..
finally ian moved away and his arm is gone case la
im just... exhausted. lol..one of the days when we're having our dinner at KFC b4 hitting nuga's place to study..Checking out some chicks thru facebook at Nuga's place..
randomness..Chilling in the college
Dunno what are we looking at tho -.-''lol.. emo-ing..
Girls..
they just couldn't resist to camwhore
Have to just tag along -.-yeah, i know.. -.- im in a mess..
i was sweating man. the weather is just so daRn hot~!!! ><

That's all for today..

Great days ahead people..

Cheers~!!!

~GraceKoh~

Return Trip

2009-07-19T18:01:00.000+08:00

Ever in your life, you KNOW that you're always
Running..
Hiding...
Skipping...
Bumming...

Always hoping things will get better and better as each day passes.
But it only got worse when you're all alone and bumming into stuff which are unexpected.

Whatever age we are, we can all think of a time when we wanted to be sure of something.

A time when things are really true to us.
A time when things can last...
A time with no doubts but trust...
A time to settle down and be true..
A time when things will never end...
A time when there's no more playing and hurting each other again..

Life is like a highway...

You can speed as fast as you wan when you felt frustrated...
Or even stop by to see some beautiful scenery along the way...
You can see many different kinds of scenery as you drive down the long highway..

Some may be pleasant and beautiful,
Some may be heartbreaking and anger.

Certain people knows what road they're taking..
But most, they just keep on driving down the road with no direction.

It's true..
Somehow things will come to an end, so does the highway.

Ever since the beginning, we knew things were getting awkward..
Til i finally left..
When i got back...
Things got worst and soon, it all became silence, like an ocean without living creatures in it.

Dead,
Lifeless,
No movement,
and all things were hid underneath the surface.

In a blink of an eye...
A year passed by...

I left again, and this time, no turning back.
I drive down the highway with a fragile heart..
Speeding...
Not wanting to turn back and have a second look at it....
Even tho deep down, i know this is the place where i belong..
I knew..

SOMEDAY..
SOMETIME..
SOMEHOW..

I would have to take a U-turn from this highway that im driving down now...
Until you said you regret......

My mind is spinning.
You're leaving soon...
I knew that all along...

Time is running out...

What am i suppose to do?
Turn back and forget everything and face the awkwardness again?
I couldn't even remember how you even look like anymore~!!!
Just a blurry image that i couldn't even remember even tho i tried to flashback my memories..

Gradually, i began to lost myself on the highway..
Feeling all alone and locking myself up.
Thought that i could find new friendships to build up and grow together to cover up that pain..

Until, I bummed into a friend.
I thought i was doing it right?
I thought..

"hey..hmmm..maybe this friendship will work out? why not give it a try?"

And there it goes...
But.... i was wrong.
I didnt know what else to do..
Was it all a lie?
It was obvious enough that the answer is "YES"
I got knock down in the end, hard.
Im just trying to be a good friend and be there for them when they really need someone.
And all i ever get...
Is just a shoots and bullshit crap..
Not even a single "thank you" LoL..

Not to deny that i was broken....

Until one day, i read a versus in the bible.. it said:

"Remember, I will be with you and protect you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done all that I have promised you."
~Genesis28:15~

Recalling another versus when Jesus was hung on the cross.. He used to say :

"Forgive them Father, for they do not know what they're doing"

It really warm me up.. more or less.
On the second day, a sister in Christ told me that it's all bout humbling yourself down.
People makes mistakes..
Things happen and that's why we learn from there and grow instead of blaming others.

So, finally.
Things were getting back to path.
I made my final decision by taking a U-turn from that highway..
Im coming back to a place where i knew what's best for me..
Im not gonna drive down on highways that i know that in the end i'll find nothing but loneliness..

Few days later, i found another few friends.
I doubt..
I struggle...
Not knowing how will it turn out again?
But.. why not give it another try?
Life is always bout learning?
Wasn't it? =)

Sometimes, we dun know what we have until when it is gone..

==========*==========*==========*============*==========*============

So dear readers, (if you're ever reading this til the last that is)

Here's a few questions for you and me to think bout.. =)

Do we ever live for the moment and have eyes only for what is attracting us?
Do we ever take advantage of others?
What scale do we use to make our decisions?
Because sometimes, out of our realization, we hurt others in some ways when we did those decisions.
Sometimes, we even hurt them and we blame them at the same time.

How focus are you on some pain from the past?
The pain may not only still pierce your heart but also lead you to wonder if you'll ever see a day without it. No?
Im sure more or less.. some of us been through it and the taste wasnt pleasant =)

So.. if you wan how others to treat you, you should start by treating others too =)

Think bout it, alright? =)

Great days ahead ppl..

Cheers~!!!

~GraceKoh~

Short update

2009-07-17T17:33:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. dun really have much to update tho.

Accounting test is coming up next tuesday and final is just two weeks ahead and im enjoying myself still. Die la >< Been over to Nuga's place very often these few days.

Yesterday, Daniel just saw some babes there when we're on our way in to the condo. But oh well.. his too scared and shy to stay and watch them swim. Awww~ LoL.. but.. they look so tall and old for him -.- hmmm.. maybe he just love older chicks? xD hahaha..

Been skipping classes lately. No motivation. Yes ><>< but i really couldnt stop myself from yawning, espec for Mr Andrew's class. Sometimes, even the way when he look at you, gosh.. *shivers*

Yawn.. Just a short update and now..... im off...

this is what we do when we're bored

yeap.. she just got out from tanjung rambutan

nuga and wai kei
shir gie and nugai just love playing with her hair =p look at her, trying to show off but at the main time look so hot xD
*that sounded so wrong ><*
but im right, right? =D

Back at Nuga's condo
nothing else better to do -.-oh yeah, she's pulling me faceNO, we're NOT making out~!!! -.-

Great days ahead ppl.. =)

~GraceKoh~

*Daniel:: if you're reading this, NEVER EVER EVER use that stupid "PeTer" guy of yours -.- thank God i still can sleep at night, if not im so gonna stomp over to your house and make you not to sleep for the whole night -.- And i'll DO IT~!!!

The Climb

2009-07-09T18:29:00.000+08:00

I can almost see it,
That dream I'm dreaming.
But there's a voice inside my head says
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking..
Every move I make feels lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I've gotta keep trying,
Gotta keep my head held high.

There's always gonna be another mountain,
I'm always gonna wanna make it move,
Always gonna be an up-hill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose,

Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side...
It's The Climb.

The struggles I'm facing..
The chances I'm taking.....
Sometimes might knock me down but
No~!!! I'm not breaking.

I may not know it,
but these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most,
yeah...
Just gotta keep going..

And i gotta be strong...
Just keep pushing on.....

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith

It's all about the climb
Keep your faith...

===========*================*=============*===============*===========

This song really inspire me in someways.
Every night when i found it hard to sleep, im always tuning in to this song. lol..
It has become my lullaby..

Maybe.. miley cyrus's voice wasn't that nice (sorry to her fans) but seriously la.. sometimes her voice really gives me the shivers =/ lol..

Anyway.. just a short update. Something to talk bout =) no harm right?

And something is seriously wrong with me man. I think im getting insomnia and my appetite is totally off the hook. I can lie on my bed for 2hours then only finally dozed off, sometimes even more than that. I skipped breakfast, lunch. sometimes even dinner and not feel hungry at all. Used to be a BIG EATER but somehow everything changed starting from last wed -.-''

Gosh.. what's happening man?

ahh.. i just hope i'll get over with it soon. I need some desperate sleep and a good appetite like b4 man. ><

Yawn.. tired. Just got back from station one bout one hour ago after our Malaysian Studies class. Hanging out with daniel, nuga and piggie =) and daniel dropped me off. Gosh.. puke on the way for like how many times weh. crazyness.. thank God didnt puke in Daniel's car la if not.. man. Wouldn't wanna imagine wat happen next. probably have to help him clean his car and not allow to sit his car in the future or i have to walk back home by myself. lol.. xD

Wookie~ im'a buzz now.

Gotta get going to go down klang for church =)

Great days ahead ppl..

Cheers~!!! =)

~GraceKoh~

Love is life.
And if you miss love, you miss life =)

The weekdays

2009-07-05T11:04:00.001+08:00

I'll let my post start off with a picture of a monster, Daniel. lol.. =p
*hope he'll not kill me for this even tho i doubt he'll ever read this xD*

Things are getting better and better in college =)

I almost died from boredomness for the passed one month. lol.. but i'll take that back now =)

Obviously, things do happened along the way. Just that.. well.. all we could do is just forget and forgive. That's all it takes to heal that fragile part of your body =) maybe that person might not felt it.. ahh.. but as long they're happy, things are cool. Just a lil time out will do the rest of the work.

I've been out almost everyday ever since wed night. LoL. Just hanging with a bunch of jokers. lol.. i've made them gone crazy and wild and everyone's crazy laughing and all. And i hope it's a start of something new =) but honestly, i haven been laughing and feeling so good and joyful ever since form3. lol.. it really made my day =)

Nuga, teaching daniel. fuiyo.. she's staring. lol..

It's a wednesday night. Daniel and I went over to Nuga's condo to study math. Since nuga is one of the good-in-explaning type of person and i suck at it -.- so why not? And this is when nuga and daniel first met and talk =)

We have so so much fun and everyone's always laughing. LoL.. but of course, we do our work at the same time too la. Not forgetting, me and piggie are always interrupting when nuga's teaching daniel. lol..

Later tat night, Daniel sent piggie home and he dropped me too. All thanks to him. Why? Because of him telling me that we might have dinner first only head over to Nuga's condo, ended up we were there at 7 and by the time we left and send piggie home, it's nearly 11. How to eat dinner la? Didnt eat in the end lo and the next day i hit the toilet for like 3times due to terrible tummy ache -.-'

On thursday night, wow. After 2killing papers, at night go eat steamboat as a celebration with another gang~!!! Damn full weh.. We are allowed to eat as much as we like and it only cost for RM22 per head. Had ice cream as a closing too =) Was suppose to go for pool with them, but haih.. better go home. Parents wouldnt be happy if i come home at 11.30pm, or later =(

On friday, nuga, piggie and shir gie came over to my house. They're doing their malaysian study thingy while I left them at my house and went out with daniel to accompany him to eat his so-called-lunch. I cant even believe tat he had a bubble tea during lunch time with a fren of his and not eat anything later that.. and tahan til 6pm only go makan -.-

And lastly, on saturday. Just an outing with the girls. Daniel was suppose to come~!!! im gonna whack and smack that fella, hard when he comes to pick me up on monday -.- lol..

Yawn...That's all for today.. man.. like grandma story -.-
sorry. ntg nice and special. lol..

Great days ahead ppl..

i'll let the pictures do the talking =)piggie and nuga =)

face problem. lol..
me of course.
nuga's perfectly beautiful ;)

Toodles~ =)

~GraceKoh~

Sometime

2009-06-29T17:09:00.000+08:00

Sometime, when all life's lessons have been learned,
The sun and stars forevermore have set,
The things which our weak judgments here have spurned,
The things over which we grieved with lashes wet,
Will flash before us out of life's dark night,
As stars shine most in deeper tints of blue;

And we shall see how all God's plan are right,
And how what seemed reproof was love most true.

Then be content poor heart;
God's plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold;
We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart.

Time will reveal the chalices of gold.
And if, through patient toil, we reach the land
Where tired feet, with sandals loosed, may rest,
When we shall clearly see and understand,
I think that we will say ,

"God knew the best!"

~GraceKoh~

Michael Jackson, memorable of the king of pop

2009-06-28T21:07:00.000+08:00

Wowww.. it really blew me away. The news of Michael Jackson's death is shocking. I know it's been like 3days or 4days ago that he'd passed away. But well.. i just didnt get the chance to update bout it due to computer got reformat -.-

Knew it from my sister when i was picking her up from her tuition and she told me. The news is so shocking til i almost lose my focus on the road @.@

Anyway.. i've been reading as many articles bout him.And i've been thinking bout it. so.. my prediction is that..

Why and how he'd ended up like this today is because that.. well.. probably the lack of a father's love? Maybe? i dunno.. But that's what i predict.

A father's love is very precious and unique.
Different fathers express their love in different ways.
Some thru words, some thru actions.

Earlier, I've read bout a friend writing a post bout his dad on father's day and i cherish that man because he had, and IS a successful man bcoz he had taught his son well and build a successful family =)

Im sure A father is an every guys idol.
The way a Dad treat his child and the things that he do in front of them will be recorded like a recorder into their minds, espec for young boys.
In the future, their sons will treat their children as how'd their dad had once taught or treat them =)

Well.. i felt sorry for Michael Jackson bcoz he had never tasted a Father's love. He always wanted that but all he got from his father was abusement. His life had been harder than anyone else. Although im not him or not knowing him much but im positively sure bout that =)His whole life was on the wrong track.
And his life ended just like that.........

So boys/guys out there, do the right thing and make right decisions because in the future, you might be telling your kids how their father was once was. LoL. And more testimonies will be share between you and your child ;)

*huGz!!*

Great days ahead ppl..

~GraceKoh~

Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves.
It's etermal goal is life.

what is there more in life?

2009-06-16T15:37:00.000+08:00

it's all bout giving up and let go..
isn't it?
what is there more that i have to lose?

~GraceKoh~

~.*×.*.whåt comes ârÕund, gØes ãrÔund.*.×*.~

你,总会在我身旁

”没用“变成”有用“

妈妈的信

Rain and Raindrops

彩虹下的约定

朋友，加油！

感动篇‘一’

woohoo!

So much for a day..

HER, my life ♥♥♥

The end? Or new chapter?

Promise fulfilled..

I remembered that night......

If i just know you better...

Wound?

How'd that happened?

I Never Told YOU

Looking at him.......

Words which are rare enough to be said...

Seeing her teared...

If we ever meet again...

Just another thought which haunt me down to earth..

My Fault!!!

Be thankful

Whatever Happens

Time Flies

♥恩典之路♥

Way back into LOVE

A shoutout to all you wonderful people through just one post ;)

Chinese New Year or NO Chinese New Year?

Little Feet!

Forgiveness

Combination brief sharing and confession

Jam packed december, EVER!

♥ Huggies to them!♥

The journey begins

Indescribable

Love

They Left

I care!!!

Realize

Pain in the Ass

Sunshine

When I look at you

Time is always running out....

Already Gone...

Lucky enough?

Fire Burning..

R.I.P Cik Lai

Life

G.I.Joe was awesome!!!

Bummed out

Return Trip

Short update

The Climb

The weekdays

Sometime

Michael Jackson, memorable of the king of pop

what is there more in life?

~.×..whåt comes ârÕund, gØes ãrÔund..×.~